Very Sad watching Dumocrat Dylan Larkin skating around like a lost puppy with the Detroit Red Wings earlier today. Dummy Dylan FAILED as the captain of the Wings, and should be totally ASHAMED of himself when looking at the previous Captains in Hockeytown. LOW IQ Dylan BETRAYED the hockey fans in the GREAT State of Michigan, and quit like a Total Dog, Whining, Finger-Pointing, and Bleeding from below All the Way. PATHETIC! Thank you for your attention to this matter. NHL President Donald John Trump
Sleepy Steve Yzerman has been relieved of his duties with the dumpy Detroit Red Wings, after his very LOW ENERGY performance in the GREAT State of Michigan. Sleepy Steve left the tremendous Tampa Bay Lightning and was worshipped like a Hockey God by the FAKE NEWS hockey media, yet sleepy Steve FAILED in Detroit, and the tremendous Tampa Bay Lightning continued to be Totally tremendous without him. A SHAMEFUL job in Michigan. DISGRACEFUL! Thank you for your attention to this matter! NHL President DONALD JOHN TRUMP
Sleepy Steve Yzerman has continued to be extraordinarily LOW ENERGY in his efforts to improve the dumpy Detroit Red Wings. The fans in the GREAT State of Michigan are many miles from their glory days when stupid Stan Bowman's daddy was running the show in Detroit, prior to miserable Mike Babcock inheriting a stacked team and FALSELY pretending the Wings success was in anyway due to Witch-Face. Very sad to see the terrible job sleepy Steve is doing in Detroit, as the woeful Wings have the SINGLE LONGEST playoff drought in the National Hockey League. PATHETIC! Thank you for your attention to this matter! NHL President DJT
Sleepy Steve Yzerman FAILED to improve the Detroit Red Wings at the trade deadline, leading to one of the WORST CHOKE JOBS in National Hockey League history to miss the playoffs. Sadly, GREAT AMERICAN Dylan Larkin has seen enough, and has asked sleepy Steve for a trade out of the GREAT State of Michigan. The ridiculous Red Wings have brought TOTAL SHAME to their tremendous fans, who have been suffering very badly for many years, and now Captain Michigan wants out! A TOTAL DISASTER! Thank you for your ATTENTION to this MATTER! NHL President DONALD JOHN TRUMP