The Scranton Strangler

She/Her |

[Arturo Torres @arturodraws]

I tell ya what,

That boy Paxton ain’t right.

[Sara McGee for Texas HD 132 @SaraForTexLege]

“He’s asking for proof of life from me. I’m asking for proof of spine from him.” Talarico on Ken Paxton.

🎤🫳🏻

[Vic @getawaycarvic]

If Noah Kahan doesn’t win at least one Grammy for The Great Divide I will riot. I’m so serious.

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

Holy shit I finally did it
After 10 years of tireless effort
Long flights, hundreds of hours in the studio. I did it
I’m nominated for a Nick kids choice award.
I’m finally gonna get slimed.
I can feel it dripping down my scalp and into my eyes and nostrils
It tastes.. like freedom

[yas ୨ৎ @arminarlets]

a hello kitty uma DAMA sendo a unica vestida e com decoro, ela devia ensinar uns modos a esse OFERECIDO do pompompurin

[jeyjey @jeimyyyyyyy]

mis tetas son grandes porque están llenas del odio que le tengo a israel

[yara @1redesert]

the entire internet praising her for cheating on ed sheetan w niall horan and she tweets a heart. what an icon

[Keara Sullivan @superkeara]

Ed Sheeran be like I’m in love with the shape of Netanyahu

[k ISO HARRYWEEN N2 @kiwiwaIked]

genuinely why i cant be in a relationship 😭😭😭

[🫧 @faveromance]

you think you can hurt me? i’ve survived the big 3: the one direction breakup, liam payne, & harry styles retirement email

[ali 👻 @probablyalissa]

Get off your ass and Kirk. It seems like no one wants to carry the flame anymore.

[brie 🍂 @kisscoball]

Kirk all the time, Charlie occasionally

1. Aperkirk
2. American Kirks
3. Ready, Kirk, Goon!
4. Are you listening kirk?
5. Taste kirk
6. The kirking game
7. Season 9/10 Kirk Loss
8. Coming up kirk
9. Kirk
10. Kirk no more (9/10)
11. Kirk by numbers
12. Kirk’s song

[bailey @Baileymoon15]

how disrespectful are we gonna be tomorrow?

[madison ★ @ilyLiberianGrl]

It’s close to midnight, and something evil’s kirking in the dark

[jay ☆ @calwhoric]

btw i just got an ouija board and charlie himself told me that calories don’t count on the kirkaversary

[dooney and broke @fincherslay]

the lindsay clancy case is literally about how broken the women’s healthcare system is and instead of postpartum mental health being the focus, it’s turned into a conspiracy theory media circus. TRUE CRIME culture has fried everyone’s brains!!!

[John “The Neanderthal” Fetterman @CavemanSenator]

Leaving out a plate of milk and cookies for Kirky Claus for the Kirkaversary next week

[Maria Palmer @PalmerRadio]

Tomorrow it will be especially difficult to tumble out of bed, stumble to the kitchen, and pour myself a cup of ambition

[ryan @ lff @ryangaur]

Odyssey plot hole: Why was the Cyclops making goats cheese with no profit incentive or shareholders to create value for?

[tinman @mavi4mayor]

personally i wouldn’t have gotten turned to a pig bc when she asked ‘do you like my meat’ i woulda said ayo pause