The Stephen Kelly

Full time Comedian. Looking for work and maybe a bit of love while I’m here hahahah. Currently lost at sea as of 26/07/24, account managed by family

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

Need a new Wallace and Gromit Movie

[walker @walkercapl]

“Can I bum an… IDEA?”
—The Man Who Smokes Thoughts (2025)

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

Brought my 93 year old grandmother to vote today, she shouted “Which box to bring back Ryan Tubridy?” A round of applause and cheering from everyone there followed

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@bennett_jpg I’ve never seen this account before in my life

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@flugum2point0 Hard to top this

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

Does the hummingbird think they’re the steely Dan of birds?

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@jim_demps Easy to call him out on a false stat, just isn’t true

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@bennett_jpg “What was twitter during the leaving cert like…”

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@flugum2point0 Not everyone’s aunt can write the gruffalo 🙄

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

People in plane crashes loveeee to eat each other

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@PabloBosque_ One of my favorite Irish players since I dreamt he was moving in next door to me and dm’d him to double check

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

Jack off all trades? What do I get out of it?

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@leech_schnapps This is the final straw, blocked and unfollowed

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

You can break GDPR if it’s really funny

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@bennett_jpg It was 1582 and they were switching to the Gregorian Calendar and they skipped 11 days so it was Thursday

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

Asked for an example of a good team and someone said the Manhattan project

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

I’m drinking woke beers you’ve never heard of in leftist bars you’ve never been to

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

@bennett_jpg Chunk Norris makes the driving test learn him!

[Dan White @atdanwhite]

Waited too long to do my Christmas shopping and now only Walgreens is open. Fuck it. Everyone’s getting a knee brace.

[The Stephen Kelly @StephenKellyy_]

Were you trying to move the order of tabs in your window? Fuck you, here’s 2 windows. Fuck off