A man made a $500 bet with his boss that he could lick his eyeball.
Laughing, the boss agreed.
The man took out his glass eye and licked it.
The boss angrily gave him the $500.
The man then bet $500 he could bite his own ears.
The boss pulled his ears to check if the man was wearing fake ones, then agreed.
The man took out his false teeth and bit his ears with them.
Angry all over again, the boss gave him his $500 and told him to go away.
The next day, the man came back.
Boss: What now? Didn’t you take enough money from me?
Man: Trust me. This one should be easy. I’ll bet all the money in your wallet that you’re wearing purple underwear.
Boss: Haha! My underwear is black!
Man: May I see some proof?
The boss went to the lav and came back with his black underwear in his hand.
The man cheerfully handed over $1,000 to the boss.
Boss: Why are you so happy?
Man: Look around you. All around the glass walls your
43 employees are watching.
Boss: And?
Man: I bet each of them $500 that I could make you take off your underwear.
@RCdeWinter I am 73. Rodney forever my favorite. To paraphrase Rodneys response to a reporters question when entering a hospital for heart surgery on his expectations, " If you don't see me for a week all good, I lf see see me in the next hour, not so good, I am dead
An Osprey has taken up residence at the Harlem Meer and I caught it just as it was shaking off after a bath. Such a joy to have it here! #Osprey#CentralPark#birdcpp
The Cedar Waxwings like to perch on a weeping willow while hunting insects at the Pool, which enabled me to get this 'jailbreak' shot. 😎😎😎 #Waxwings#CentralPark#birdcpp
🧐🤔YOU WANTED A WALL, TRUMP? YOU’LL HAVE ONE.
Mexico’s president, Claudia Sheinbaum, responded to Trump’s threats:
“So you voted to build a wall.
Well then, dear Americans — even if geography isn’t your strong suit, and you see America as a country rather than a continent — you should know that on the other side of that wall stand 7 billion people.
And if the word ‘people’ doesn’t resonate with you, let’s call them ‘consumers.’
Those 7 billion consumers can switch from iPhone to Samsung or Huawei in less than two days.
They can trade Levi’s for Zara or Massimo Dutti, and within six months replace Ford and Chevrolet with Toyota, KIA, Mazda, Honda, Hyundai, Volvo, Subaru, Renault, or BMW — brands that are already more popular in many places.
They can cancel DirecTV.
And even if they choose not to, they can stop watching Hollywood films and turn instead to higher-quality productions from Latin America or Europe — with richer storytelling and better filmmaking.
Believe it or not, people can skip Disney and visit the Xcaret resort in Cancún instead — or explore destinations across Mexico, Canada, or South America.
Even in Mexico, you can find better burgers than McDonald’s — with higher nutritional value.
Have you ever seen pyramids in the United States?
Egypt, Mexico, Peru, Guatemala, and Sudan have ancient wonders — none of them in the U.S.
If they were, Trump would probably have bought and resold them by now.
We know Nike isn’t the only sneaker brand. There’s Adidas — and even Mexican brands like Panama.
We understand economics better than you think.
And we also know that when those 7 billion consumers stop buying American products, unemployment will rise, and your economy — trapped behind its own self-imposed wall — will begin to collapse to the point where you’ll be begging for help.
We didn’t want to do this.
But you wanted a wall?
Well.
You’ve got one.”
Her approval rating has reached a historic level — according to a recent poll, it stands at 85%.
I haven't seen many Great Egrets fishing at Central Park's Harlem Meer, but they fly over all the time. They're absolutely stunning framed by a clear, blue sky! 💙🤍💙 #Egrets#CentralPark#birdcpp
The hardware store closes at 6PM.. It's 5:58 when a kid walks in. The kid can't be more than sixteen. Soaking wet and shaking from the rain...
"We're closing." Tom says.
"Please. I just need a lock. For a door."
Something in the kid's voice. Terror. Desperation.
"What kind of lock?"
"I don't know. Just one that keeps people out."
The kid's got a black eye. Fresh. The kind that's still swelling.
Tom doesn't ask. Just walks to aisle seven. Shows him the locks. The kid reaches for the cheapest one, $8.99.
"That one's garbage," Tom says, "Won't stop anyone determined."
He hands him a deadbolt. Heavy duty. $34.99.
The kid's face crumbles. "I only have twelve dollars."
They stand there. Store empty except for them.
Tom takes the deadbolt to the register. Rings it up. "Twelve dollars."
"But,"
"Sale price. Today only."
The kid knows there's no sale. Knows this old man is lying. Tries not to cry and fails.
Tom bags it. Adds a screwdriver. Free.
"You know how to install it?"
The kid shakes his head...
They drive in Tom's truck. Don't talk. The kid directs him to a rundown duplex on the east side.
Upstairs apartment. Door frame cracked. Old lock broken, hanging loose.
Tom installs the deadbolt. Takes him fifteen minutes. Tests it. Solid.
Hands the kid both keys.
"Someone tries to get in, you call 911. You hear me?"
The kid nods.
Tom's halfway to his truck when he hears it, "Why?"
He turns around. The kid's standing in the doorway, backlit, holding those keys like they're made of gold.
"Why did you help me?"
Tom thinks about his own son. Twenty years ago. Different city. Same desperate eyes. Didn't make it.
"Because you asked," Tom says simply.
He drives home. Doesn't tell his wife. Doesn't think much about it.
Three weeks pass.
A woman comes into the store. Tired eyes but smiling. "Are you Tom?"
"Yes, Ma'am."
"My son told me about you. The lock you sold him." She's crying now. "His father, my ex-husband, he's not a good man. That lock kept us safe until I could get the restraining order. Until we could breathe."
She hands Tom an envelope. "It's not much. But it's the thirty dollars we owed you, plus a little more."
Tom tries to refuse. She won't let him.
"You didn't just sell him a lock," she says. "You saw him. You saw us. When we were invisible."
After she leaves, Tom opens the envelope. Sixty dollars. And a note from the kid:
"Installed three more locks for neighbors who needed them. Taught myself how...
"Going to trade school next year. Maybe I'll work in a hardware store someday. Be someone like you. -Marcus"
Tom's manager notices him crying by the register.
"You okay?"
"Yeah," Tom says. "Just... yeah."
That night, Tom stayed two minutes past closing. Then five. Then ten.
In case someone walks in at 5:58PM. Soaking wet. Desperate. Needing more than just a lock.
Tom learned something.
The last customer of the day may be the most important one we ever serve.
Henry the Red-tailed Hawk had the eyes of his nestling and his mate Octavia watching him as he landed on the 927 Fifth Avenue nest. He quickly dropped off food and then continued hunting for more. He is a great father.