Steve Gradman

I help businesses scale

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

I want a time machine that only lets you go back to provide all the witty comebacks you think of way after the fact

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@suzy_redd hard to believe

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

The only emails I should be getting from the #Bears this week should be about beating the Packers

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@gothburz This may be the best tweet of all time

[Peter Girnus 🦅 @gothburz]

Last quarter I rolled out Microsoft Copilot to 4,000 employees.

$30 per seat per month.

$1.4 million annually.

I called it "digital transformation."

The board loved that phrase.

They approved it in eleven minutes.

No one asked what it would actually do.

Including me.

I told everyone it would "10x productivity."

That's not a real number.

But it sounds like one.

HR asked how we'd measure the 10x.

I said we'd "leverage analytics dashboards."

They stopped asking.

Three months later I checked the usage reports.

47 people had opened it.

12 had used it more than once.

One of them was me.

I used it to summarize an email I could have read in 30 seconds.

It took 45 seconds.

Plus the time it took to fix the hallucinations.

But I called it a "pilot success."

Success means the pilot didn't visibly fail.

The CFO asked about ROI.

I showed him a graph.

The graph went up and to the right.

It measured "AI enablement."

I made that metric up.

He nodded approvingly.

We're "AI-enabled" now.

I don't know what that means.

But it's in our investor deck.

A senior developer asked why we didn't use Claude or ChatGPT.

I said we needed "enterprise-grade security."

He asked what that meant.

I said "compliance."

He asked which compliance.

I said "all of them."

He looked skeptical.

I scheduled him for a "career development conversation."

He stopped asking questions.

Microsoft sent a case study team.

They wanted to feature us as a success story.

I told them we "saved 40,000 hours."

I calculated that number by multiplying employees by a number I made up.

They didn't verify it.

They never do.

Now we're on Microsoft's website.

"Global enterprise achieves 40,000 hours of productivity gains with Copilot."

The CEO shared it on LinkedIn.

He got 3,000 likes.

He's never used Copilot.

None of the executives have.

We have an exemption.

"Strategic focus requires minimal digital distraction."

I wrote that policy.

The licenses renew next month.

I'm requesting an expansion.

5,000 more seats.

We haven't used the first 4,000.

But this time we'll "drive adoption."

Adoption means mandatory training.

Training means a 45-minute webinar no one watches.

But completion will be tracked.

Completion is a metric.

Metrics go in dashboards.

Dashboards go in board presentations.

Board presentations get me promoted.

I'll be SVP by Q3.

I still don't know what Copilot does.

But I know what it's for.

It's for showing we're "investing in AI."

Investment means spending.

Spending means commitment.

Commitment means we're serious about the future.

The future is whatever I say it is.

As long as the graph goes up and to the right.

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

I’m actually in a band, yes, it’s real, and yes, we’re good (kinda).
MEN ON THE MOON — R.E.M. tribute
📅 11/26 • 8 PM
📍 Wilmette Theater
💸 No cover

Come scream “Losing My Religion” like your Thanksgiving depends on it.

#REMTribute #REM #LiveMusicChicago

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@jon_greenberg @danwiederer He was playing single deck at O’sheas

[Nelly; @nrqa__]

Someone on Reddit just dropped the perfect ChatGPT prompt for clear, accurate and straight answers:

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

This is the best restaurant chain in the world and it’s not close

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

I-L-L!

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@kenzianidiot Following for benefits advice

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

Is there a sadder place than the O’Hare terminal 2 baggage claim

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@natiakourdadze Good stuff here

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

My @united pilot just walked into the cabin and asked this little kid if he knows how to get to our destination. Bro pulled out google maps and now they are going through it, turn by turn.

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

Cracker Barrel’s logo used to feel like home. Now it looks like it belongs on an enterprise SaaS invoice. Congrats on modernizing the soul right out of it.

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@BradBiggs Finally

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

this toaster slaps and is 1/2 off: https://t.co/jI8DqD0Xm2

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@LasVegasLocally This post has 6.M views - this is why you have to empower your employees to make sounds decisions

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@jackmac Show - Absinthe … eat: table in the bar at Pieros.

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

This is too good

[Justine Moore @venturetwins]

Blows my mind that this kind of animation can now be made with AI.

Two years ago, this would’ve required a studio and tens of thousands of dollars.

Now, one guy (u/PolicemansBeard) made it with Midjourney, Hailuo, and Eleven.

[Steve Gradman @SteveGradman]

@headai_io @headai_io Can I get an invite? Would love to give it at shot at my professional services firm