Steve Harvey

Writer, Musician, Scholar, Egomaniac, Master of all things Tweetable

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Does it make me a hero if I'm still responding to work-related emails even on a holiday? No, but I'll keep wearing this cape anyway.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

It's... So damn dark.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Any day that starts off with trying to help a man stuck halfway down an elevator is going to be a good day.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

I can finally say I've tripped going up each individual stair in my house now.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Schedule an appointment for 10am on a Saturday, office is closed. I feel I've earned the right to break in and sleep in the waiting room.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Does anyone even remember the last time I Tweeted? The app icon was gathering dust.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Got carded by a guy at Shoppers when I tried to buy a scratch card. Even the woman behind me said "really?"

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

There's almost no shame in quietly eating your lunch alone in the car. Almost.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

@MikeTheHarv and I ordered a Panookie to go from Boston Pizza. It's exactly what it sounds like.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

And then I said "I wasn't talking about work". Works everytime.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Not only is Pizza Hut as bad as it looks, it's much, much worse.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

You should know unemployment can never hold me. (I got a new job and it's awesome).

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

No, but actually.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

So Rogers just called me about my plan and my phone. They didn't try to sell me anything or make me upgrade.. Just a quick chat. Thanks?

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

The collective cheer from the rest of the train as the group of girls left was a thing of a beauty. I'm glad society can unite like that.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Why is this train full of obnoxious, pre-teen girls and why can't these windows open so I can jump out?

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

5,000 tweets later, I still have no idea what I'm talking about.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

What happened to the Quiet Zone on the GO Train was a thing? How's a person supposed to ignore every other human being with all this noise?

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Putting a 5 foot tall guitar stand next to my bed perhaps wasn't the best idea. It might as well be wearing a mask and holding a machete.

[Steve Harvey @SteveHarv]

Sheridan sent me an offer for the new Sheridan College Mastercard. I laughed, threw it in the garbage, then took it back out to laugh again.