Steven

#OnePride #LGRW #RepDetroit #GoBlue #Superman

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

I just started watching Dexter. I find it concerning how much I relate to Dexter. Not the killer part. But the constantly pretending to make everyone else feel better.

[1️⃣ @LeekNabers]

just met a cute girl at this wedding i’m at

like actually cute. objectively dangerous face card.

we’re talking. vibes are immaculate. she’s laughing at my jokes. i’m in my bag.

then sports get brought up, she says it

“i watch football”

my ears PERKED up

i played it cool. i said “oh nice, what’s your team”

she said “i’m a giants fan”

and that’s where a normal person would’ve said “cool, me too” and gotten her number

but i am not a normal person

my brain instantly went into terminal mode and i said “what do you think of the team?”

she looked confused

i kept going

“Darius Slayton as our WR2? Are you kidding me. Matt Nagy as our OC? Did you see what he did to Patrick Mahomes? Our franchise qb and franchise edge rusher hate each other. And we traded away our superstar DT”

she laughed nervously and said “what”

and i said “And don’t even get me started on Cam Skattebo basically trying to get himself injured”

she said “what”

and i said “so do you even follow the team”

she said “I literally have a Darius Slayton Jersey”

the vibe was GONE

just vanished. Just like Daniel Jones in primetime.

her friend pulled her away. she didn’t look back.

i was standing there alone at a wedding holding a drink i wasn’t even sipping, doing MENTAL MATH on how someone could claim to be a giants fan and think this Darius Slayton deserved that contract.

my cousin walked over and said “bro she looked into you what happened”

i said “she’s a casual”

he said “so?”

SO???

i then realized i would rather cut off my entire family than to share a bloodline with someone of the same species that couldn’t comprehend this

she had a pretty face but a DISGUSTING perspective on life that i just couldn’t get behind

could’ve had her number

she could’ve been the mother of my children

COULD’VE.

but now at least she knows i know ball

and honestly that’s worth more

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@RSVLTS Cool, but not $65 cool.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@Jaberuski I’d have to see your wife’s bathroom sink to compare.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@dustinrhodes Ron Simmons for me.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

#RIPHulk #HulkHogan #Hulkamania one year ago the Hulkster passed away.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@WWE Want to see him get really heated? Have a fan ask for his autograph. Punk hates the fans.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@WWE Gunther went from unbeatable to losing to Cody every week? Bullshit.

[Libs of TikTok @libsoftiktok]

HOLY SHIT

Olive Garden is basically banning black people and married women from using their pasta passes

Literally shaking rn

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@onlyskypace 120

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@TheIdealExit77 And get rid of the Muslims.

[Libertarian Party @LPNational]

Never forget this epic thread.

[Chairwoman Lisa McClain @RepLisaMcClain]

Michiganders shouldn't have to breathe Canada's negligence. YEAR AFTER YEAR the smoke crosses the border while Canada does nothing. Stop exporting your smoke into our skies. Enough is enough!

[Tigers Data @TigersData]

Over the past two seasons, 359 different hitters have seen 100+ waste pitches.

Javier Baez has a 26.2% Swing Rate (#359)

Kevin McGonigle has a 0.6% Swing Rate (#1)

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@MERCEDESM0NE Alexas was way better.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

Dear Canada,

Fuck you.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@TaraBull No. Was planning to see it before the casting news came out.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@libsoftiktok @michiganstateu Fucking gross

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@LoudOutside Then….quit acting like second class citizens.

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@tigers Ok. But when is he starting for the Tigers?

[Steven @StevenXSmoove]

@HawkEmDownChris Back to the future