Bristol Stool

Movie reviews and poo. Types 3 & 4 are ideal stools. Everything else is shit.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

THE CONGRESS felt like 2 poos moosh'd together: 1 live action, 1 animated. Both confusing. We're not sure what came out, probably a Type 2.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

12 YEARS A SLAVE is a terrifying Type 4. It's a violent, but necessary shit. You'll need to pull some extra TP off the roll for your tears.

[Alamo Kansas City @AlamoKC]

@stoolreview It will completely increase your bathroom going experience!

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

After seeing a few films at @AlamoKC, I decided to install a rumble pack on my toilet seat.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

#FuckThePoolice

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

At times FRUITVALE STATION's narrative feels like a familiar & cliched Type 2 drama. But an understated ending pinches off an ideal Type 3.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

After nearly 3 years of constipation, we're back on the toilet. New #StoolReviews coming soon. #cinEnima

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

ANTICHRIST is a beautiful shit that will haunt you for life. All 108mins are hard to pass, but what comes out is a perfectly formed Type 4.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

I need to get my shit together.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

Someone carefully smeared a mushy Type 6 on the theatre's screen, and it reads, "IT'S KIND OF A FUNNY STORY."

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

CAIRO TIME is 90 minutes of painstakingly hard to pass Type 1 pebbles.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

I AM LOVE makes a lot of noise, like the dude in the other stall who's looking for attention, but it's just a fluffy, ragged, mushy Type 6.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

If you ask me, the I AM NUMBER FOUR trailer looks more like a Number 2. http://youtu.be/mITOWAljv7o

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

RESIDENT EVIL: AFTERLIFE is an entirely liquid Type 7, missing the toilet completely. Stunning RealD 3D throws this shit right in your face.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

YOUTH IN REVOLT was 1hr 30min of painfully cliché Type 1 pebbles. Channel your inner douche bag and tell this film to fuck off.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

At times GET LOW drags on like a fluffy Type 6, but great performances keep it solid. The Type 4 shit Duvall says at the end made me cry.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

MACHETE sliced open my gut and pulled out a perfectly formed type 3! #IdealStool

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

Banksy's EXIT THROUGH THE GIFT SHOP is a Type 3, bagged-up & burning outside the art world's front door. #IdealStool is an understatement.

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

SCOTT PILGRIM VS. THE WORLD was a spectacular sausage shaped Type 3 w/ 8-bit chunks of awesome in it. #IdealStool

[Bristol Stool @StoolReview]

))<>(( #FOREVER