@FormerlyEP I've been clean for over a year. If you actually seek out help and are willing to admit what you've done and talk about it openly and accept God into your heart, you can do it too. You're literally just not trying because you believe you can't. Know that you can.
@FormerlyEP With prayer and support, all things are possible. Start going to church again and seek counseling from your minister. Seek God's forgiveness.