Stop Sexual Coercion

My wife was sexually coerced by a coworker. It looked like an affair but wasn't. Start at the beginning of my timeline to catch up.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

So imagine being in my position. I was breaking this news to his wife. I told her I could share the recorded conversation if that would help

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

She thought I was playing games with her. I reassured her I wasn't. Told her where my wife worked, gave her husband's full name.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

I sent her a text introducing myself and apologized for my wife's involvement with her husband. She had no idea who I was. She knew nothing.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

And, quite frankly, there was part of me that still doubted she knew, but I assumed she did. Through a little sleuthing I tracked down her #

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

And I had this nagging feeling that I couldn't shake. I get awful for his wife. I l get their needed to be some acknowledgment from me.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

So another week or so of constant discussion about what happened. Anger, tears, confusion. You name it. A lot of questions.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

I felt closure with him, albeit briefly. I started to wonder if that call was legit. Started to doubt that his wife knew.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

We wanted to apologize for what happened, and he made sure to tell me his wife knew. I told him I appreciated the call.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

Why is this relevant? Because the following Monday the perpetrator calls me to "apologize." At the time it was very convincing.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

I didn't provide details of what happened. I was letting them know this "leader of kids" does not live up the values their org claims.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

Expectedly, they tried to defend him. One tried to bring a cop into the conversation by implying I was going to physically ambush him.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

So I trashed him in email to the organizers of the youth baseball team he coached. Lack of values are inconsistent with leading kids.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

I couldn't go full scorched Earth because my he worked at the same company as my wife.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

No separation, no sleeping in separate beds, just spending time together having a lot of painful conversations to understand what happened.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

I was a zombie. I had overwhelming anger towards my wife, yet trusted her. Part of me knew there was more to the story.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

Before ending that call, I told him that he is to have no contact at all with my wife.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

I asked him if his wife knew. Silence. I told him I took that silence as a no.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

A lot silence from him. This is a guy who was not used to be held accountable.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

So during my call, I proceeded to call him a coward for ignoring my wife's call. He was fully prepared to let my wife's life disintegrate.

[Stop Sexual Coercion @StopSexCoercion]

I should also add that on that Saturday I asked my wife to call him, tell him to not have anything to do w/ her. He didn't return the call.