Stretcher Monkey

Professional Bag Carrier and occasional Assasin for ***** Ambulance Service NHS trust. Tweets with a VERY dark sense of humour needed to survive in EMS

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

Dear paramedics, don’t get bogged down with the Gucci toys and new posh things you can do... Old school -remember your tech routes. Uni - your techs/EMTs know more than you think. Concentrate on the basics first.

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@cleveleysnews The Purge begins……

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@Twitter @TwitterEng how many times do I have to get rid of these “recent tweet from” notifications before they stop coming through? Every few days for months now.

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@LloydsBank I have an active credit card dispute, and they are genuine, from a genuine Lloyds email. With the subject starting with $$$ it looks like the few daily spam messages I get.

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@LloydsBank why do your genuine emails looks like they’re from a spam bot account?

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@Niton999 @magnum_boots @Haix_NAmerica @SPServicesUK @OHProducts @PolAmbProducts Ordered a side zip set through your eBay. I expect to get a couple of months out of a pair of boots, not 1 weekend as I got with those @magnum_boots

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@magnum_boots 2nd pair of these that have split in exactly the same place within a week of wear!! Might it be time to switch allegiance?
Both boots… both pairs on the heel. Not impressed

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@MENnewsdesk How about selecting the best actor they can get/afford. The whole idea of “acting” is pretending to be someone (or something) you aren’t.
Refusing to hire someone because of what’s between their legs is hardly inclusive

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

Genuinely heard an advert for Raytheon UK before the start of a podcast this morning, surprised they didn’t advertise their KnifeMissiles, had a voiceover guy, not @IwriteOK and wasn’t on @bastardspod
They’ve stolen your podding ideas Robert

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@PoliceWarr Can you do a fork and spoon amnesty too? Knives seem to be the only things in abundance in a station cutlery drawer.

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@MENnewsdesk So this charity owns/rents a £million property??

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@CMPG @StaffsPolice 104 mph in this weather??? And driver has provided this dash cam footage so you can prosecute.
I see these unmarked units cane down the outside lane all the time. Don’t indicate when changing lanes either. Mostly BMW driving traffic cops

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@stjohnsambulanc Duct tape has been an integral part of the Trauma section of my kit bag for years

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@ASOS be aware of this phishing email. Check to see if the address they’ve put as delivery is one of your customers.

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@Fordingbridge47 @Hants_fire @hfrs_control @Lyndhurst48 @Brockenhurst50 @HFRSanimal Cow just wanted a bath! @beefanddairy

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@LeicsSpecials @Staplefordtrain @LeicsPoliceRPU Do him for wearing socks with flip flops too. Arguably a worse crime!

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@stjohnsambulanc I assume you’re referring to the iPad thief as a wanker... but knowing you, Chief-John... you might be talking about the boy and crew mate...

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@stjohnsambulanc And did they used to be CRB medical before DBS started doing the police checks?

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@stjohnsambulanc So they are the origin of that picture of an ambulance that BBC keep using on news app! Always wondered where they nicked it from

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

@cleveleysnews To open exactly the same as the before times?? Your writing is getting just as bad as the Gazette! 😢

[Stretcher Monkey @StretcherM0NKEY]

We all knew it... now Pet Rescue are openly admitting their favourite pastime 😁

[Preston Fire Station @Preston_Fire]

Yes it really does still happen. Earlier this afternoon the wholetime crew @Preston_Fire came to the aid of a cat 🐱 stuck approx 15 metres up a tree. An awkward rescue made harder with attack crows pecking at the poor cat. All made safer with use of the Aerial ladder platform