Ivan

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@mercari_app 2 things. I have proof the seller is scamming me and you have no one, not even a prompt to choose from to help mitigate this. And why do you keep sending the charge to verify the card? You're fraud prevention team is shit

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@sprint your service is garbage. I feel so conned.

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

When a coworker calls you instead of a manager

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@Sirplatanoo bro is that you?!?! Hahaha I tried calling you a while back but you changed your number

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

3 guys trying to name their singing group: Well, were all friends. We should be called "Friends"

Other friend who got a C in high school Spanish: You know what friends in spanish is?

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

Cause of traffic in LA: A motorcycle fatality caused a 2 hour delay on the 405 south this morning.

Cause of traffic where I live: 6 hour delay due to a police car stopped on the 95 north so the officer can urinate. No injuries have been reported.

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

You ever see a group of attractive people and just get salty? Like, how? Havent you grown tired of that shit yet?

Them answering: Yeah actually you dont understand how many people struggle to hold a conversa...

inturrupting with finger guns: haha yeah right

[T-Mobile @TMobile]

You’ve got two thumbs. RT and you (& your +1) could hit the red carpet for @DeadpoolMovie in NYC from #TMobileTuesdays.

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

Hey guys. I got the pro live 5000 as a gift and I can't get the propellers to start. I don't think it's synced to my remote and no mode in particular gets it going but I do get video feed. It just won't fly. Help please@Mota

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@TMobile @ultimateears #HolidayTWOgether #contest @TMobile SUGAR COOKIES!

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

"Aw, your family can't be that bad. How awkward can they be?"

Laughing through my nose "I thought my dad was a virgin"

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

Overheard a guy say, "Everyone remembers where they were when they saw the first Avengers movie" like yeah bro I was driving and the Avengers movie magicaly started playing in my windshield.

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

Stranger: Do you like country music?

Me: Well I've never had a truck leave me for my dog so...

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

My girlfriend thinks I'm smart, handsome, and funny and I'm honestly thrown off by that type of love #isthisreallife

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@Scentbird @scentbird saw more than one charge for starting my 3 month sub but it cancelled and corrected automatically today. Thanks for your concern

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@Scentbird I could use some help with my account

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@IAmSteveHarvey youve said something to the affect that atheists are too stupid for you to talk to lol but theyre too stupid huh? #Atheists

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

Cara Delevingne, although weirdly hot, looks like she ate dirt from a mobile home park as a child #meantweets #murica @JimmyKimmelLive

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@beatsbydre I was taking them off and they broke. This is what $380 (after tax) gets me? You guys fail in quality

[Ivan @Striped_Giant]

@elonmusk with Exxon Mobile fighting to deny climate change Im hoping youd be willing to counter-argue. #makethefuture