Masturbation will not spread COVID-19, especially if you wash your hands (and sex toys) with soap and water for at least 20 seconds before and after sex topublichealth who #socialdistancing#toomanytocount https://t.co/YXBjYgLtSm
Directive A49FSD-KILA - Per orders of the Joint Chiefs of Staff and CENTCOM: In order to increase the number of generals who are totally #alpha, fighting is hereby now permitted in the war room.
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Dildos provided by… https://t.co/sdrweYRKeK
As revenues from their linked in bio merch store dwindled, the boys found themselves taking on increasingly dangerous gigs from creepy Gothic caretakers offering bounties for spending a night at their abandoned… https://t.co/p5uleo21sw
We recently hired mckinseyco to help us identify ways to reduce our overhead and streamline operations. They suggested contracting death itself to take photos and stand in when needed. While we did manage to reduce… https://t.co/Cftfn6Gpun
Dear Xmas observers,
A reminder to remove your celebratory materials prior to the first day or the first month of lunar year or else Jared, lord of the downers, will enslave your Christmas cheer for the 12… https://t.co/rky8bvyTjk
Trying a new long pork recipe for the holidays this year. One last baste before our guests arrive! #moist#doubletrouble @ The Funhouse Toronto https://t.co/axBlQ4Mq1x
I love Christmas! I have such a good time every year. The presents, the family, the all around wholesome time. I hope nothing bad happens...
...bad happens
...bad happens
...bad happens
...bad happens… https://t.co/natHdXUes5
A quick look behind the scenes of Subtle Dildo Enterprises where we TEE up for another stellar quarter in the content mines. Help us hit our GREEN KPIs by buying our book Finde Den Dildo. Please buy the book or our… https://t.co/ZXzzyKHxsN
CONTEST TIME!
Win a meal cooked by us! Here's all you have to do:
1. Enter the contest by sharing this post on your story with the hashtag #ninetyfiftythree
2. Please tag 17 friends and tell them EVERYTHING
3.… https://t.co/sWEkEE8Idn
Me: It’s a tough situation. The PRC is obviously heavy handed in their crackdown on HK protests, but the protestors are fighting for a neo-liberal order and don’t care about Uighars, an arguably bigger issue
Also… https://t.co/LMvtpjw9M8
I’m too fast to slow down
I’m too brave to turn away
I’m too strong to think
I’m too long to fold
I’m too bold to italic
When it all comes down to it, aren’t we all powered by people?
- Dr. Michael Baden,… https://t.co/0ETwzw8glX
Adam's hunger grows and it is for him that WeWork, WeSleep, WeDream. The bank may be soft but the going is hard.
Send us a picture of your favorite dear leaders or unemployed billionaires and we will promote them… https://t.co/a9O3Z9vOBv
This is my fridge. My fridge is mine and mine alone. Others have fridges but there’s no fridge like mine.
DM what's in your fridge and we will repost. #triplethreat https://t.co/cbalQhI0Yv
Help! We found this plant in our sons' room. 🌱
Can anyone help us identify it? 🕵️
Our sons say it’s paprika!? 🌶️
😵🙈
#triplethreat https://t.co/K3X38tR1pO
Attn: If you were thinking about rub a dub dub getting in our tub, there’s a line today.
Story time book of the day is "Finde den Dildo" or bather’s choice.
DM for resos
#triplethreat https://t.co/yqw3O03UMB