Suburb Slicker

Unreasonably hospitable follower of Jesus. Emer. Mgr., Communicator, Fmr. Firefighter. BBQer trapped in the burbs. Serious about making/eating exceptional BBQ.

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

@MilaJohnsonPro @totinos I'm completely in the same situation! Opened a bag for a Derby party Saturday and thought I'd had too much to drink to taste anything. Ate some leftovers today at lunch and it's like biting into a balloon!

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

@msDNCpropaganda Do you mean "affect" the future of America?

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

@enterprisecares This is the fourth time I have tried to contact someone in Enterprise about this issue and each time I get a runaround or acknowledgement that it has been passed to a regional operations office. But from there my complaints die. So far no one has done anything to resolve this!

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

Wow. What a dog of a vehicle from @Enterprise! Rented a Chevy Silverado Pickup yesterday morning. Completely trashed and dirty inside and out! Complaining does no good to them! “Customer Care” couldn’t care less. #BadDecision

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

Welcome to Washington, @clairefox5dc! Imagine my surprise, @LokayFOX5, when I turn on ESPN8 and find our newest meteorologist interviewing a winning corgi! #fox5lion

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

@jonvoight

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

Hey ! @DelVal! How many quarters are in a football game? @NCAA @NcaaDiv @espn @espncollegenews

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

@StephenAtHome doing #Unity22 reminded me of @GeraldoRivera opening Al Capone’s vault.

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

Doncha have to wear some kind of helmet if you’re an astronaut? Might mess up Sir @richardbranson ‘s hair for the cameras. #Unity22

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

Whoever the CNN “specialist” Rachel is, she’s horrible! But better than @StephenAtHome. #Unity22

[Suburb Slicker @SuburbSlicker]

He slipped the surly bonds of earth and touched the face of EGO: @richardbranson. Ashamed that @StephenAtHome is any part of this extended infomercial. #Unity22

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

13/ If you like breakdowns like these:

a) RT the first tweet in this thread -- it’ll help more people see this/learn.

b) Subscribe to @TheHustle and OPEN IT EVERY MF DAY!!!

c) Give me a follow (@bradwolverton). I write about email growth tactics with the occasional wisecrack.

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

12/ In sum, to write great subject lines:

- Experiment often
- Keep it short
- Keep it simple
- Help people make $$
- Assertions > questions
- News sells
- So do solutions
- Conflict is overrated
- So are explainers
- Don’t make people think too hard

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

11/ What *not* to copy.

Our email with the lowest open rate had this subject line:

“Board games are starting to look a lot like video games”

I don’t even know what that means...and a sh*t ton of readers didn’t care either.

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

10/ Another assumption: People love explainers.

We wrote at least a dozen subject lines with some variation of “X, explained”

Not one cracked the Top 50.

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

9/ Question assumptions.

As a journalist, I've always assumed that conflict sells.

That’s not always true.

💸 Will Big Tech lose its tax shelters? (#244 most opened email since Aug. 2020)

🍭 Big Candy vs. Cannabis (#182)

💻 The Google Docs pickle (#101)

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

8/ Kinda obvs, but news also sells.

Amazon’s next play 🚚 (53% open rate)

Apple fires Intel (52%)

📦 Jeff Bezos is stepping down (51%)

🍟 McDonald’s is crushing it (51%)

🙅‍♂️ Zucked (51%)

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

7/ Solutions (and numbers) sell.

📧 Fixing the $650B subscription economy (46% open rate)

🎯 How Target took $9B from competitors (46%)

She was kidnapped and locked in a car trunk. Then, she decided to change the car industry. (47%)

[Brad Wolverton @bradwolverton]

6/ Assertions are better than questions.

Assertion: 🏦 Stripe Treasury is a huge deal (51% open rate)

Question: 💸 Will Big Tech lose its tax shelters? (42%)