Suede was here. He's gone now

I'm on the other site. Suede dot 🟦☁️ dot social. I'm not going to post here any more. Be good to each other. Cishet, He/Him 🏳️‍🌈

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Fuck.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Bending my rules a little to say that if Harris wins I will return to social media to celebrate for one month.

...On the other site 😋. Suede dot 🟦dot social.

And if I feel I can handle it from that trial I'll stay on. Good luck everyone!

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Still only using this account for announcements, but on Patreon I've finally gotten to the end of Johto Journeys! latest episode is patrons only but ALL other new episodes are free to view, no membership required!

https://t.co/ROyJkMw1B2

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

The next episode of Journey is up for paid patrons and the previous episode is now available to watch free! https://t.co/rrOShxE7ia

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Still only using X for announcements but be sure to come on over to patreon to vote!

https://t.co/2z44uPrHYo

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Check out the surfing Rhydon and how I get weirdly philosophical about it if you're a patron, and the previous episode is now free to view for all! https://t.co/O5oATe4SyV

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Dang it, noticed the notification via email too late! I'm still checking dms, send the link again?

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Thanks for the nice response to the video! Now watch as the script for the next episode materializes before your very eyes if you're a patron!

https://t.co/VCrChCsD8G

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Misty SLAPS in this episode! Both literally and figuratively!

https://t.co/ekLPfYbIH4

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

As I said, I'm returning in a year. I will still use the profile for video announcements and if a mutual DMs me my email will notify me and I'll respond. Let's see where this goes.

Feel free to reply but remember it'll be a time capsule comment as I won't read it for a year 😆

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

That's not to say I'm not going to hang out with my online friends! Online connections are real, I met my spouse online! But I've come to realize Twitter isn't that. I've met cool people through it but it's mostly just looking through a window, tapping on the glass occasionally.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Lastly, I should mention: I will miss this place. Even after ALL I've said I've still been here for 12 years. I've had amazing experiences & made contacts I will treasure my entire life. But I felt the same about Channel Awesome. Doesn't mean it's healthy to stay.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

I know it's a little silly but I want to emulate Ichiban (minus the constant punching). I want to focus on exploring and helping WHERE I AM, and hopefully influence others to do the same where they are too.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

He's also extremely empathetic and naive, but he doesn't worry about what he physically can't do. He focuses on what he CAN do, and gives it 110%. & despite going through hell he keeps going because he knows he can actually make a difference WHERE HE IS, not across the world.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

Well, now it's no longer April Fools, I should finally put this up. This is the last time I will look at Twitter for a full year. I'll check in again next April but depending on how this goes I may not return. I think I need to do this for my mental health. 🧵

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

The second thing was when I recovered a little and I played a lot of Like A Dragon: Infinite Wealth. That game made me feel less depressed and helpless and I wondered why. Despite the obvious fun goofiness I think it was because Ichiban (the protag) only helped WHERE HE COULD.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

But what really clicked it into place for me was two things: one was when I got covid last month, I was so knocked out I couldn't use ANYTHING. After a couple of days I realized I was less stressed with less residual empathy, it gave me more mental energy to help those around me.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

So why now after TWELVE FREAKING YEARS? Well social media compulsion is a real thing, smarter people than me have discussed at length how capitalist incentives have made it so posts are always controversial or angry to drive engagement and things have only gotten worse in that...

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

All I see is suffering where I literally can't help, & constant stressful attacks on any worldview no matter what it is. I'm unable to compartmentalize due to my inability to turn off empathy & deep-seated mistrust of my convictions.

It can't be healthy, is what I'm saying 😋

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

But again, I CAN'T CONTROL IT. Some people can, and those people could stay on twitter. But I'm not neurotypical. I'm not wired the way most others are. And even then, I don't think even the neurotypical human brain has evolved to handle this scale of interaction yet.

[Suede was here. He's gone now @SuedeBlade]

And I'm sure some right wing folks would read that and go "Ha-ha! You're seeing the truth because you don't hide in your bubble!" No, you don't get it. If I was on your side I'd have the same issues & I'd switch by lunchtime because I don't want to hate myself more.