SummitFamilyTherapy

Summit Family Therapy, PLLC provides counseling services in Peoria, IL. Our blog is about #familytherapy and #relationships. A follow is not an endorsement.

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Being able to identify the Four Horsemen in your conflict discussions is a necessary first step to eliminating them and replacing them with healthy, productive communication patterns. #gottman #couples

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Three Common Mistakes Couples Make During Conflict #gottman #marriage #couples

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How Do Affairs Happen? #gottman #marriage #couples

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“Shame derives its power from being unspeakable,” writes researcher, psychology professor, and bestselling author Brené Brown." #brenebrown

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Red Flag/Green Flag: What to Look for When You’re Dating #gottman #couples

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Faith is a place of mystery, where we find the courage to believe in what we cannot see and the strength to let go of our fear of uncertainty.
#brenebrown
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[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

“Our partner's sexuality does not belong to us. It isn't just for and about us, and we should not assume that it rightfully falls within our jurisdiction.”
#estherperel
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[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

It makes the victim feel assaulted, rejected, and hurt, and often causes the perpetrator and victim to fall into an escalating pattern where the first horseman reappears with greater and greater frequency and intensity, which eventually leads to contempt. https://t.co/kzS22qnusT

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"It could be walking away, internally shutting down, or people-pleasing by which I mean agreeing to anything for a quiet life but being full of resentment or giving an empty apology to shut down the argument." #gottman #marriage #couples https://t.co/yzgtLdsoL1

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

There is less dependency on a partner, less reliance on the relationship for meeting essential needs, less investment in the relationship while idealizing alternative relationships, and thinking fewer positive pro-relationship thoughts. #gottman #couples https://t.co/Y3b3znBkWU

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"...Brown describes how vulnerability is absolutely at the core of fear, and anxiety, and shame, and very difficult emotions that we all experience and provides a great lead-in to her theory of shame." #brenebrown https://t.co/gIXUG0yyhS

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"They also tend to follow a formula of I noticed X, I feel X, I need X when discussing what is bothering them, rather than accusatory You always do X… Instead of defensiveness, you want to take appropriate responsibility for your part." #gottman #couples https://t.co/P3lbwRkDXx

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"You may not have signed up for a hero’s journey, but the second you fell down, got your butt kicked, suffered a disappointment, screwed up or felt your heart break, it started." #brenebrown https://t.co/vTIbUbxP3e

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"...this is the first time in the history of humankind where we are trying to experience sexuality in the long term, not because we want 14 children...and not because it is exclusively a woman's marital duty." #estherperel https://t.co/JuGtICEjye

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"Then take 20 minutes to do something alone that soothes you—read a book or magazine, take a walk, go for a run, really, just do anything that helps to stop feeling flooded—and then return to the conversation once you feel ready." #gottman #couples https://t.co/kzS22qnusT

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"Sign up for the Love Notes Newsletter and receive a free download Get the latest on relationships, parenting, therapy and more from the experts at The Gottman Institute." #gottman #marriage #couples https://t.co/yzgtLdsoL1

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"When one can’t count on their partner to be available in their time of need, it leads to unfavorable comparisons, emotional distance, and eventual betrayal, if not the demise of love." #gottman #marriage #couples https://t.co/Y3b3znBkWU

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"Brown’s TEDx talk The Power of Vulnerability has been watched by over 58 million people and offers excellent insight into the concept of vulnerability as the cornerstone of shame but also its potential for belonging, joy, and love." #brenebrown https://t.co/gIXUG0yyhS

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"Ultimately, we want partners who are gentle with us even when they are upset, able to take responsibility for their actions even when it’s hard, work with us to soothe our nervous systems, and own their past pain and resentment..." #gottman #couples https://t.co/P3lbwRkDXx

[SummitFamilyTherapy @SummitFamilyIL]

"The only decision we get to make is what role we’ll play in our own lives: Do we want to write the story or do we want to hand that power over to someone else?" #brenebrown https://t.co/vTIbUbxP3e