Dorinn

If you’re wondering who I am, that’s the point.

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

This started as a poem I wrote 25 years ago.

Calamity

I kept a smaller life
Folded out of sight
You found the seam
Where “seem” had been hiding
And pulled it wide
Every quiet I was proud of
Every lock I called a home
You picked the lock by calling it
Then walked through like you’d paid
For the right to make it known
I’m not asking you to spare me
I’m asking you to be
Exact
When you put your hands on me
No extract, no act, no almost-touch
Hands on. Mean it.
I felt you in the plaster first
Plastered in the past, her
In the pipe-tick, in the jaw
Lockjaw on a name I wouldn’t say
In the way a room goes listening
Before it learns the law
I named you weather, named you whether
Named you wither, went to bed
You stayed under the floorboards
Floored me without stepping
Counting every word I never said
Like interest on a debt
That learned my handwriting
And read me back to death
Don’t come like a rumor
Rumor’s just ruin with the “I” filed off
Don’t come like a maybe
Maybe’s a baby word for men who leave
If you’re going to touch the lock
Then take the door off with it
Don’t knock. Know.
Don’t ask. Arrive.
I won’t dress you up pretty
I won’t make you kind
You’re the crack running silent
Through the back of my mind
A fine line, a fault line, a “not tonight”
That night kept rewriting
Till the quiet I collected
Came due as a crime
When the air gets heavy
And the night leans in
I’ll still only have
This one word left in
Left in. Left inn.
No vacancy. No chapel.
Just the mouth I kept empty
For the thing I wouldn’t say
Calamity
That’s the whole prayer
Prey-er
The thing that hunts a hush
Calamity
That’s the whole dare
There
Where the floor forgets it’s floor
And remembers it’s a door
Do it
I’m here
I’m not looking away
Not a look, not a lie, not a lighter prayer
I’m here.
Do it.
You don’t knock
You remember
You don’t ask
You arrive
Like a debt that found the signature
Still wet inside the life
Like a mean that learned a meaning
Then came back to mean it twice
I can stand the wreckage honest
Wreck. Age. The years it took to dress the crack
I can stand the dark with weight
What I can’t stand is the almost
All-most, never-all
Loving just enough to hesitate
A half-hate. A half-stay.
The cruelest kind of late
So don’t kiss the glass and vanish
Don’t rattle me and go
A rattle ain’t a name
A kiss ain’t a cost
If you started in my teeth
Then finish what I already know
Don’t leave the sentence hanging
From the hook inside my throat
If this is the breaking
Let it be clean
A clean break, a break-clean,
No dust called “I didn’t mean”
If this is the taking
Take the whole fucking thing
Don’t take a taste and call it mercy
Don’t take a piece and call it peace
Take the lock, the life, the lying quiet
Take the house I built from “please”
No half-ruin
Ruin means the roof comes too
No soft exit
Exit’s just exist with the spine pulled through
No leaving me
Married to the almost
A vow to a ghost
That never paid the priest
Calamity
Stay long enough
To fucking mean it
Mean it like meaning
Mean it like cruel
Mean it like the means
And the end in the same mouth
Don’t mean well
Mean it
Stay till the word and the wound agree
A chord. A cord. Cut or keep
Stay till it costs you something too
No free haunt. No cheap weather
Stay till I say it in my sleep
Calamity
And wake up knowing
What to do with you
Calamity
That’s the whole prayer
Not pretty, not pious,
Just please with the knees kicked out
Calamity
That’s the whole dare
Not brave, not blessed,
Just stay with the safety ripped out
Do it
I’m here
I’m not looking away
If you’re flood, flood
If you’re fault, fault
If you’re only passing through
To leave me holding “almost”
That’s a different devil
And I’ll give it a different name
But if you’re this
If you’re the seam and the steal
The lock and the law
The hands and the haul
Calamity
Stay long enough
To fucking mean it
Stay till the mark is a map
Stay till the cost has a face
Stay till “calamity”
Ain’t a warning
It’s the place
Do it
I’m here
I’m not looking away
Calamity

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@peretzronii Just so everyone understands that's Googles keyboard automatically correcting my texts. I absolutely said shabbat shalom. Amen to you all.

Google you need a priest

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@peretzronii Sabbath shalom

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@trumplicans2024 Your right it need to be bigger

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@lv__qx You just have to find the right guy and if a foreigner then, 日本語を話せる外国人を探して。

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@Carmengzv0 Yes and headaches

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@galsukid6 I would start yelling at all the men sitting down and forcing them up. Even if I got kicked off or ass kicked still need to be done sometimes

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@atyan2525dayo You already know what would happen. A better question is what would you do if I showed up in that outfit?
🤣

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@messedupfoods Unc is legendary

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@haruhiranran That stick is better then bacon

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@yunatakahashii Your right everytime I do a cute Japanese voice people start laughing

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@mabelmolina4 Go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky fingers

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@QunhAnh16664367 Beautiful is Beautiful. And that doesn't have a ruler

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@trumplicans2024 Good

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@Naka_PhiaMAN 🤣😂🤣

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@Catarinaxa4 If your comfortable

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@apitsumi_1 You nerd. Jk

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@trumplicans2024 The "we tried talking" starter kit.

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@americannative_ Let's do it i like it. Matter of fact i love lets make them the Crackers for the next 50 years.

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@kattrinabites01 Sometime yes

[Dorinn @SunbloomEden]

@hoshizorarock You'll never catch me copper.....hold on a minute let me catch my breath...ahhh!