Susan Giles

Technical writer.
Also writes fiction.
Novels: The Primrose Path and Deja Vu.
Short stories published in the UK and USA.
Likes travelling, reading, and walking.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

At a recent do, the MC announced: ‘Let’s welcome Mr Bates, Mrs Bates and their son Master Bates.’ Wearing thick-lensed glasses, the boy’s face was pimpled and severely acned. A guy next to our table pointed to the boy, then turning to his own son, said: ‘There I told you so.’

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

I wish all my friends a procrastinating Christmas and a productive and prosperous 2026.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

I’ll never forget that monstrous head as they led the beast along the plank, to where I was nakedly tethered, fearfully awaiting my fate. Eyes budging, jaw agape, drooling, it had clearly done this before… and enjoyed it. Then I saw its penis, its outrageous, erect penis!

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Oh, dear friends, guess… I’ve been done by a donkey. I know why Master K picked me. I had noticed two things about him: 1, his genitalia was extremely small; 2, he liked to humiliate women. So did 1 lead him to 2? Whack across my face. Was that all I’d get? Oh, dear friends… no

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

At last! I’ve seen the equipment whereby errant ladies are brought to book by a donkey. Two trestles with a wooden plank laid between them. One trestle is set lower than the other so that the plank is set on a slope. Master K says that I can watch when it’s next used. Can’t wait.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

There I was, kneeling on the bed, two guys fore and aft. Master K, waving his arms like some manic magician, shouting “in-out, in-out, deeper, faster, in-out, in-out.” Two loads dispensed in harmony. Master K, turning to the queue, “next two, hurry, next two, hurry.” Happy days.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Best wishes to all my friends for a merry Christmas and a healthy and prosperous 2025. And to those friends who spent some time between my legs this year, I hope you all made swift recoveries and that your wives/girlfriends failed to notice any downturn in your sex drives.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

My new master has accepted me for training. Off there this evening for a trial run. I hope that none of his beasties will be involved in it.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

I think that I may have surprised my latest suitor. We were on holiday in Venice and he asked me what I would like to see in the beautiful city. Glancing back at our hotel, I replied lots and lots of lovely white ceilings.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

@Nish95827870 Slowly, I'm afraid to say. I'm the world's greatest procrastinator... and also something that rhymes with procrastinator.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Susan lay naked and hogtied on the couch.
When the first gang-banger entered, she cried ouch.
But later, much later, as night turned to day,
They all agreed she was one hell of a lay.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Assessed for training by a prospective master at the weekend. He does the usual stuff, with an interesting addition. He has an extensive menagerie of creatures. I saw snakes, eels, gerbils, a donkey. Don’t know if I’ll be taken on. Not sure if I should accept though, even if I am

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Monkeys can get monkey pox (OK) and humans (OK) and other mammals, too – squirrels, badgers (OK). But, so they say, beavers can catch it as well (SHIT). If my nearest and dearest becomes a fatality, I’m gonna get a gun, go down to Africa and shoot every bloody monkey I can find.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

People at the sex show can’t believe it. It’s huge, a massive black pole. And he’s on top of Suzy. Don’t. You’ll split... He’s pinned her down. She’s trying to get away. He’s pointing it in... People are on their feet. They think it’s all over. “Oh! Oh! Ahhhhhh…!” It is now.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Stalin, Putin, Hitler, Netanyahu... all evil bastards. But only one is a liar.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

The American MC cried ‘King Charles, Rishi Sunak, your girl took one hell of a pounding.’ I glanced at the dozen or so black guys spread-eagled on the floor. ‘Donald Trump, Joe Biden,’ I said, flicking a flaccid dick, ‘on the contrary, your boys took one hell of a bushwhacking.’

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Old Rastus joke. You know the one…

‘Rastus come away from that platform or a train’s gonna come along and suck you off.’

‘C’mon train.’

New version…

‘Susan come away from that platform or a train’s gonna come along and whisk you off.’

‘C’mon train.’

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

I want to wish all my friends a joyful Christmas and a happy New Year – and especial good luck to all my fellow Indie writer friends for 2024.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

By attaching weights to his scrotum, overtime he had stretched his tackle halfway down his thighs. Yeah, I agree, weird guy! Anyway, it allowed him to insert his balls into my bum and make love to me at the same time. Thrust, tug, trust, tug… weird feelings.

[Susan Giles @Susan_Giles]

Rishi Sunak is of course right when he says that Israel has a right under international law to defend itself. However, Israel surely has no right under any law, moral, ethical, or indeed international, to bomb, shell, and kill, innocent civilians, many of whom are children.