Took me a while but I realized what triggers my toxicity. It's DISRESPECT! I can be cool , the life of the party, I can get a long with everybody all day and night but the one thing that destroys my internal peace is being disrespected. I know I'm a good woman.I know I'm too nice, too cool, and way to sweet so when I'm disrespected my mouth is lethal because what you put in is what you get outta me .. However I'm working on that.
Know your triggers and stay away from the people, places, or things that bring them to the forefront.
Honestly, I think my childhood trauma came from feeling emotionally distant from my own family. I learned very early to stay quiet about my feelings because whenever I needed comfort or understanding, I felt unheard. So instead of expressing my pain, I started pretending I was okay.
I became someone who cried alone, healed alone, and carried heavy emotions silently. Maybe thatโs why I love people so deeply now, because I know how painful it feels to not feel emotionally understood by the people who were supposed to make you feel safe.
And the saddest part is, those family wounds stay with you. They make you overthink, fear being unwanted, and get attached to small acts of kindness because deep down, all you ever wanted was genuine love and emotional safety.