Seth

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Everytime someone makes a joke I saying "this sounds like something deadpool from deapool 2 would say"

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Cat loser guy at restaurant for first time: uhh I'll have the chunks, uhh, in gravy

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Me calling Alberta Fish and Wildlife: I have no idea what the fuck I'm looking at can I blast it

[Nick Pettigrew @Nick_Pettigrew]

Rewatching Paddington & I can’t help but notice he manages the whole boat trip from Peru without breaking a single jar of his marmalade. Not so clumsy when it’s your stuff & it matters to you are you, you little prick?

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Girlfriends out of town again

[Seth @SwagPaste]

I wanna smoke that shit that made scrappy doos head get huge

[Seth @SwagPaste]

If I was wiser younger I'dve for sure made a pedal pub x freedom convoy tweet, alas I am too soon old and too late smart

[Seth @SwagPaste]

I'm not drunk officer I'm just a little delirious on account of the beers

[Seth @SwagPaste]

RFK so serious about locating the Githyanki Creche rn

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Me when go to jail: I have exited the rat race for good

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Everytime I see carrot cut like potato chip im like ummmmmm what da heck

[Will Sennett @Senn_Spud]

Recently rewatched Mad men and this time around it struck me that Don is not the hero (girlfriend leaves room) if Don Draper was a fire truck he would be the biggest one in the world

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Dune 2 was good but the end credits scene of Paul Atreides singing White Iverson felt out of place

[Seth @SwagPaste]

NYT Mini actually has my guts trained to shit at 8 pm MST everyday

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Upper deck fully shoe'd w/ cinnamon hearts, s/o all the lovers today

[Seth @SwagPaste]

I saw a dude on the train googling "Saltburn ending explained" and I put him in a full-nelson

[Seth @SwagPaste]

There's no time to do anything-

My jaw snaps shut and eyes lose all color leaving only an opaque white ball. In the prison of my mind I am forced to watch the countless hours I spent watching fake ads for idle phone games.

[Seth @SwagPaste]

Been microdosing my meals, I been twee as hell eating morsels and nibbles

[Seth @SwagPaste]

3 topping pizza please, yes could I get uhh cheese, ummm, sauce? And maybe a little bit of crust?

[Seth @SwagPaste]

People get mad at babies crying on airplanes, meanwhile the little things just like why the fuck this tube so high