Tom’s Parity account.

Atomic physicist formerly working in atomic clock R&D at the Naval Observatory. Tweets are my own. Can be found at that blue sky place.

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

Just realized that it's possible within the next few years that I will become the longest-tenured person in my department. And the implications of that are that I will then be free to make up wild stories about how things were in "the old days"

Which was the plan all along

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

Fuck you, @espn, two tiny screens is unwatchable

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

Hey, @espn I don’t want to watch two small-screen games at once. Cut the crap.

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

@TheRealHoarse Moved in to my new house

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

Mom is peeved that Consumer Cellular didn’t cancel her service when asked, and kept billing her.

They won’t acknowledge the error. She won’t pay for their mistake

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

THERE. ARE. FOUR. BEATLES!

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

Reducing my screen to 24” so that you can show NYG-GB post-game hugs. Masterful production decision, @espn

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

I’m really annoyed by this @espn broadcast. Weird camera angles, moving camera, and now a split-screen defeating the effect of my big screen TV

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

@pourmecoffee Until witsec moves them to Wisconsin and they have to pretend they’re a badger

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

@orzelc Jif

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

Tell me you didn’t live through the disco era without saying you didn’t live through disco era

[Alex Seitz-Wald @aseitzwald]

Serious question: Is this period of history especially shitty? Or is it closer to the norm and most of us just happen to have been alive during an aberrant below-average-shittiness period of history (i.e. 1990s)?

[Nick Knudsen 🇺🇸 @NickKnudsenUS]

Election Day is in less than a week! If there is low turnout in Virginia…

1) Republicans WILL win.

2) The legislature WILL pass an abortion ban, and;

3) Governor Youngkin WILL sign it.

Help raise awareness!

RT & reply with the hashtag #VoteBlueVirginia to get it trending?

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

@likwidvison @NFL @YouTube Yup

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

Apparently I have the ability to invite people to a place with greener pastures and a Blue Sky.

Don’t know if there’s anybody left here that needs an invite. Let me know.

[billyglenn @billyglenn2000]

Astronomers at Naval Observatory viewing eclipse of sun, 1/24/25
[19]25 January 24.
#Vintage #Photography
https://t.co/kX7l5cnorg

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

@DanielOyefusi Have to wonder how scheme/play-calling affects this. Does more blitzing or stunting cause disruption that results in more pressure from the line? What about the connection between coverage and pressure?

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

@orzelc Not the football team. *actual* bears

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

50s: Did our parents deceive us about all this or were we just not paying attention to the signs

[Adam Nayman @brofromanother]

Teens: joking that you feel like an “an old soul”

20s: entirely disingenuous jokes about feeling broken after playing pickup basketball

30s: slightly less disingenuous jokes about feeling death’s icy hand on your neck

40s: That Joke Isn’t Funny Anymore

[Dr Evil @DrEvilisBack]

Unmatched magical skills.

[Tom’s Parity account. @Swansontea]

“I am the wind”

[Super 70s Sports @Super70sSports]

One of the finest minds the U.S. Army ever produced.