Al Swearengen

Al Swearengen, Creative Director, enjoys his new career in the video game industry.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

In solidarity, I've been yelling, "San Francisco Cocksucker!" one time for each person that's been laid off.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

A gym? A fucking weapons gym? You had the whole fucking language at your disposal, and you called it a fucking gym.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

Those are some very big cards you're playing on very small tables. I hope for your sake you have the devil on your side.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

The direction of my thoughts--and with the sustained fucking stupidity that you’re exhibiting, I hesitate to voice them--is that you might want to train for programming before you try to fucking do it.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

You need to think about the game's scope as if it were your asshole. When you're trying to add something, you're only fucking yourself.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

They call it "sunsetting a game" because it is the equivalent of bringing a flaming fucking ball of fire down on it.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

That's what JIRA is, one vile task after another.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

@mister_borogove Free drink at the bar for you.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

Announcing your plans is a good way to hear programmers laugh.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

I take lunch hours so that I don't kill you in the afternoon.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

UR test! Peaches for everyone, and be sure they can see your fucking guns.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

I will kill the cocksucker who takes the last of the coffee.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

Further to yesterday's announcement of scope reduction, all new design docs must be written in C++ before they will be considered.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

To rein in scope, the new design for combat is to print the words “it’s dead” on the screen.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

@LouPetridish Fuck you.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

To further reduce scope, the number of dialog choices has been reduced to two. "No" and "Fuck you!"

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

@LouPetridish No.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

Shoot the fucking build machine, for it respects no man.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

Sent four designers into a room to solve one fucking problem. Cocksuckers came out with five fucking problems and a need to hire.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

@Davey40k Like you've never had a long meeting.

[Al Swearengen @SwearengenCD]

Previous production meeting ended in a murder. Apologies for my absence.