His Royal Beefiness

If you're looking for honest, serious content...keep looking.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

Every adult should have a confident, unwavering favorite @Pringles flavor. If you're thinking of bring @LAYS stax to the conversation, stay home.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

Someday somehow, I'm gonna make it alright but not right now.

@Nickelback #justicefornickelback

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

There has to be a better way to get an ID picture than at the secretary of state. It's super inconvenient to get in there but I'm more concerned with the fact that I'm legally represented by a photo taken at the most miserable place on Earth.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

I'm a garbage Man, not a man of garbage. Don't treat me like trash because of my job. But, for real, I'm an asshole.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

No one has ever, or will ever be as generous as I am when I'm putting peanut butter on my own toast.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

Ranch is the @budlight of salad dressings. It's so basic that I'm insulted if you offer it to me.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

Now is the time. Rub the magical Copenhagen tin and summon the Toby Keith! May his eagle powered square body bring him to us in our darkest hour. We need a song, an anthem. This virus needs a boot in it's ass. Tis thee American way.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@Shell first, great color scheme. Red and yellow, fast colors, I think fuel. Second, with the thought of people catching covid from fuel pumps, have you considered fuel attendants? You can pay on an app, hold the phone up to the window, scan it, and pumps they fuel. #Coronavirus

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@Speedway first off, big fan of your roller dogs. Secondly, with all the talk of people getting the from fuel pumps oh, have you guys ever thought of bringing back fuel attendants? Pay via your app, hold the barcode up to the window, they scan it, and pump the gas. #Coronavirus

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

I don't get political but this November, I'm writing in #BeerAndSweatpants2020 #Independent #leisureparty

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

If you speak in #SignLanguage with a missing finger, is that the equivalent of a speech impediment?

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

Dear @HomeDepot, we've had some good years, but I think we've grown apart. #notmeitsyou. Hey @Menards, how you doin?!?

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@littlecaesars hey, I was just enjoy a tasty #HotNReady and noticed a little #proofofpurchase tab on the box...what can I do with those tabs?

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@LGUS been on hold with customer service/ tech support for over 30 minutes. Maybe change up the hold music. Just a suggestion....or less hold time.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@budweiserusa We're drinking @budweiserusa so, both of us. Hahaha, but seriously, me.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@budweiserusa Teddy Roosevelt. Then we'd arm wrestle and pursue shenanigans.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

Media laced with propaganda from the tongue of the illumiNike. #Staywoke because they are real sneakers. Seek a new balance. Believe in humor, even if it means making a joke of everything.

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

It doesn't matter if you win or lose, it's how you play the game. So, play like a #champion and that story will fuckin' write itself. #LifeLessons

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@BWWings sorry, for what I said when I was #hangry. I'll be back, but not today. I was very disappointed with you, but @LogansRoadhouse showed what horrible service really looks like

[His Royal Beefiness @SweetBeefTruax]

@BWWings you've lost me as a customer today. Kids and I sat in a near empty #BDubs for over ten minutes while 3 different servers passed our table without saying a word. After watching 6 or so servers hanging out socializing by the computer. We decided to leave. #unimpressed