Taylor Brown

actor, writer, comedian, uber driver cause I need money. live life and dont worry about how others live theirs. Statements not mine they are Carl's,

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

Them:don't spread germs
Us: Okay, how
Them: Cough and sneeze in your elbow not hands
Us:anything else
Them: don't shake hands, instead bump elbows
Us: wait but thats where all the cough germs are
Them: spread the virus Buy Purell!!!

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

I don't tweet much. first tweet this decade i'm going to say i'll be touring at the start of the next decade. lets see what happens.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

Thank you for waiting

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@whitney_wilde Gary Sinise to deal with the ramifications of playing Lt. Dan in Forest Gump?

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

please continue to wait....................

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

I want you all to know something.......just a wait for it..................

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

the elderly keep telling me not to get old. why do they want me to commit suicide?

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@AustinPKHaws thats why I gave up on doing that.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@whitney_wilde yes, and i must say she was upset that i ignored her for that long.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@paulinailovato false, the grinch actually had his heart grow. there is no growing for that guy.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@DavidSedaris so it looks like i received a free bookmark with the book I received for Christmas. I think their marketing department has gone downhill. I much prefer the ad campaign during the musical.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

it's now the season of giving but I'm broke. so you're all getting positivity from me. YOU'RE AMAZING! KEEP IT UP!

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

"People don't just leave social media. They past lengthy stories as to why they are leaving social media" bye for a bit

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@AustinPKHaws You have my love. But that's like having a congical visit when you're single.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@WyattEarpLA @realDonaldTrump Didn't know one year old could use Twitter. Good for you little one.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@rickygervais But you did......for 58 years

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@whitney_wilde Not that you need it but I approve of you doing that. Good job!

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@SourcedReports How dare he try and ruin this coffee cups life at this time.

[Taylor Brown @TBrownimprov]

@whitney_wilde Do you have a snickers bar. I all for no particular reason.