TF93

I like trains

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Ever seen a Greggs lorry do a donut?

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Fiancée just dropped that, after winning £15 on a scratch card, that’s she’s put the money aside towards our next laundrette visit, rather than spend it on more scratch cards. Debating calling the whole thing off.

[TF93 @TFennerz]

That severe alert just made me drop my bbq

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Genuinely dreamt of heavy rain and green grass last night

[TF93 @TFennerz]

I can’t think of anything that’s genuinely impressed me since Pokemon Sapphire

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Local stationary shop has moved and no one is pointing out the massive irony here

[BBC Sport @BBCSport]

Comments turned off for legal reasons.

[TF93 @TFennerz]

If we’re going to ban social media for anyone can it be the over 50s?

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Not elected a new one then

[Sky News @SkyNews]

BREAKING: A satellite image shows black smoke rising from a compound used by Iran's Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei.

Earlier, an Iranian official told Reuters that Khamenei ​is not in ​Tehran and had ​been transferred to a ​secure location.

🔗 https://t.co/uuj8fwXPMq

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Taking the better half for a big sunshine walk today but the temptation to take her to Stevenage at home is almost too strong

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Socket man

[Emma Szewczak @EmmaSzewczak]

Sure. Why not

[TF93 @TFennerz]

What a headline

[Football Insider @footyinsider247]

Bent Slams Paquetá! ⚒️🚫

The patience is wearing thin! Darren Bent hasn't held back on the Brazilian playmaker, urging West Ham to cut ties immediately. 🏟️🔥

Is it time for West Ham to sell Paquetá and move on? 👇⚒️

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Flight to Belfast. Just seen a dwarf couple sit in the extra legroom.

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Nothing says love more than having a surprise poo and your partner offering to put the extractor fan on.

[TF93 @TFennerz]

More yanks in the kebab shop. Is nothing sacred anymore?

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Mate’s in the pub ordered me a Guinness top last night. It’s sacrilege but hear me out…

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Just seen a goth in TK Maxx. A crossover I never thought I’d see.

[TF93 @TFennerz]

A chicken bone just fell from the sky in front of me. I don’t know what that means as an omen.

[TF93 @TFennerz]

I used to think that AI was just a Geordie thinking they hadn’t heard a bit of a conversation, before realising they’d understood it, before expressing their agreement

[TF93 @TFennerz]

Why is the sea so salty? Like what’s it so upset about?

[TF93 @TFennerz]

9:20. Queue outside Vision Express. It opens at 10, you’d think they’d make the font size of the opening times a lot bigger.