The Steak

Artist, Writer, Breakfast, Lunch, Dinner, Blogger, Person, Entre.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Parody is turning into reality a lot quicker these days.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

I had a Papa John's pizza once. It looked & tasted like a fried cow placenta.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Due to the ongoing martini trend, I've decided to invent a new one... The Multivitamin Martini.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Cantamaloop.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

A lot of people want to go to the Moon... But nobody wants to stay there.

Kinda like New York City.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

I'm learning to play the harmonica on a crab leg.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

If a vegan eats Miracle Grow... Is that like taking vitamins, or steroids?

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Has anyone noticed that #Chipolte changed their shredded cheese?

It used to be flavorful, and taste like cheese. Now it tastes like shredded pool noodles.

@ChipotleTweets

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Has anyone ever tried movie theater popcorn butter on lobster?

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

@HydroFlask "Responsibly made in China"... Isn't very responsible with their safety record.

Chinese-made products have accounted for more than 60% of recalls in the past.

Human food, toothpaste, kids toys, candy, and dog treats have all been recalled for health & safety issues.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

@nalgene @TakeyaUSA @YETICoolers @HydroFlask @CamelBak @elonmusk

Can one of you make a safe 32oz (or larger) glass water bottle that has ZERO components made in China?

I'm not the only one looking for a safe & sustainable glass water bottle larger than a kid's cup.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

IKEA has meatballs.... Home Depot should have a construct-your-own sandwich station.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

I don't pull out...... Of plans.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

We are going through a mozzarella stick Renaissance.

[Tim Dillon @TimJDillon]

Casey Anthony is removing her podcast from Spotify.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

It's only a matter of time before NBC has a primetime 'Squid Game' gameshow.

Might even have Ken Jeong as the host.

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Wouldn't it be easier to call Amazon workers, "Amazonians"?

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Everytime I see the name Amber, I read "Armbar".

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

New menu item:
'Ostrich Egg Money Shot'

[The Steak @THESTEAK]

Going to Waffle House after 10pm is like going to a Worldstar Hip Hop live show.