Immett Brown

No Mustard.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

Is the “X” the new pornhub? 😳

Don’t get me wrong, I like boobies just like everybody else, but wtf is happening? There’s some nasty shit on here.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

We took the kiddos to the beach today. We had a great time. Wouldn’t trade those moments for the world.
But fuck am I getting old. My shoulder hurts from playing volley ball with my daughter. My leg hurts cause my son thought he could beat me in a foot race.
He did not.
😎😕🙃

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

My bucket list is kind of sad. Most of it revolves around cars.

And I want to jump out of a plane.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

This generation of music sucks ass.
Give me that Gin and Juice. Clean out my closet. Rollout my Business. Today was a good day, but We don’t go chasin waterfalls, and we don’t want no scrubs. We sure as fuck know who Mike Jones is. And it wasn’t Shaggy.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

I don’t know why I’m so god damn angry all the time.

Fuckin shit fuck.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

I’ve learned a few things over this past weekend.
I can, but can’t hear shit. Yesterday I could hear my wife’s phone ringing upstairs, but had a hard time hearing the person talking that was talking to me in the same room.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

@HouCounterplot Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tiny weiner. Tony weiner.

Pussy.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

I was probably way too honest.
Fart and a half.

Fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

If anybody wanted to buy anything me right now it would be @MorganWallen new album.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

My wife makes the best got dang potato salad I’ve ever eaten.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

If I am throwing something across the room towards a trash can and I make it, bet your ass I’m saying “bucket.”

Especially if it’s left handed.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

I need a got damn woodshop.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

@MorganWallen makes good music.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

I had a weird ass fucking dream this morning. It involved my wife, myself, a Fox, an anteater, and a big ass dog.

Craziest part, I hardly ever remember any dream. But I remember this one vividly 12+ hours later.
Woke up sweating my ass off and confused as all get out.
Weird.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

@TheeRealMC I just bumped the curb a little bit.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

Silverado for sale : Morgan Wallen.

Dumb song, but seriously….
2008 Silverado for sale. 150,000+ miles. $3500 obo. She ain’t perfect.
More details if you’re interested.

Time to let her go.

[Macaulay Culkin @IncredibleCulk]

There’s no better way to celebrate your half birthday than to watch Jake Paul get punched in the head repeatedly.

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

@_willcompton
Houston Roughnecks?

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

I just settled all my lawsuits. Fuck you Debbie!

[Immett Brown @TMiles_]

What are you supposed to do when you strongly dislike something, but you are very good at it, especially when you love helping people?