Matt Kelly

I learned a long time ago that reality was much weirder than anyone's imagination - HST

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

Today I have the joy of blacklisting @saks after the worst customer service I have ever seen. Looking forward to giving my money to other retailers.

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@SeatGeek why are you selling me tickets to shows that are not real?

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@adamraycomedy are you in Atlanta tomorrow for a show? @SeatGeek and @Ticketmaster have conflicting dates. No one seems to know.

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@MatthewNichol5 They know nothing about nothing. Like every other artist

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@AmericaFirstCon lol

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@mbwhitworth And now the grass is ruined. Needs to be moved back to the original location

[MJTruthUltra @MJTruthUltra]

These bastards… every single one of them…

What they did is unforgivable.

I lost a cousin to this bullshit.
Millions lost someone they loved or was permanently harmed.

I just don’t care at this point. If it were up to me, I’d round every single one of them up and throw them in GITMO and hold quick trials.

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@kevinolearytv can you build a mechanical watch that tracks a person daily signal vs noise ratio? That seems practical to me.

[NOBUNAGA🇯🇵🏯 @japan_nobunaga]

USA. A Mexican restaurant. We had not yet ordered anything, and the food was already arriving.

Chips. Salsa. Unrequested. Free.

I stopped the waiter. "We have not earned these."

"They just come with the table, man."

They come with the TABLE. In my land, hospitality is a debt. Every gift creates an obligation, weighed carefully, returned in the proper season with interest of feeling. Here, the gift arrives before you have even proven you can pay for dinner.

This is not an appetizer. This is a declaration: we trust you. Eat.

I ate with the gravity the moment deserved. And then — I must report this calmly — the basket emptied, and a new one appeared.

"Did we…?"

"Refill," the waiter said. "It's bottomless."

Bottomless. They have wells of salsa. The supply lines of this nation are beyond anything my ancestors imagined.

My friend warned me. "Don't fill up on chips, dude."

Too late. I had accepted three baskets. Honor demanded each one be finished — an unfinished gift is an insult. By the time my actual food arrived, I was a ruined man.

I was not hungry. I was not comfortable. I had been defeated by a courtesy.

Generosity that arrives before the request cannot be repaid. It can only be survived.

I know the rule now. I have made my peace with the basket. One basket. Two at the most.

Who am I deceiving. There is no number of baskets I would refuse. The trust of a nation is in that salsa, and I intend to honor all of it.

[South Dallas Foodie @SouthDallasFood]

I dunno about y’all but I have a much deeper appreciation for America now.

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@GarrisonMoratto @ACohen41430691 @nytimes You must not care about military veterans suffering from PTSD

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@BankofAmerica you are the worst customer service. The worst customer experience. After 9 years, happy to be rid of you

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@NFLonCBS why are you not showing the game in Atlanta?

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@PaddyWhackGolf It’s not on

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@ClayTravis Who is the person with the raspy voice?

[Matt Kelly @TPIGolfAtlanta]

@ATT nice work. Y’all managed to create a horrible customer experience.

[James Woods @RealJamesWoods]

Celebrating the life of a true American hero. Charlie Kirk was someone who truly transformed America in every good way imaginable.

[Tommy Robinson 🇬🇧 @TRobinsonNewEra]

Charlie Kirk gave everyone a voice, gave everyone a chance to speak, open debates, all ideas, all races, religions, welcome.

He was one of the good guys.

And they still shot him.

Truly evil.