The healer attracts the wounded and trys to save them... she realizes that she can't save them..but discovers things within herself that needs to be saved instead.
You aren't lost, you're just in an uncomfortable stage of your life where you old self is gone, but your new self isn't fully born yet. You're in the midst of transformation. This is the sign that everything is working out in your favor. You're next in the line for blessings.