Cave Johnson

Cave Johnson here! Let's get ready to do some science!

(Parody/RP account. See pinned for au info, not affiliated with Valve in anyway)

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

- Cave Johnson

- pretty much the same story as Portal 2, except he went into a coma instead of dying and was not expected to come out of it, so Caroline was still put inside the computer instead.

-Will RP with anyone, even those outside the Portal Fandom.

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

@Peak_Prosecutor "sorry, that's our fault. He was a test subject of Aperture Science's new Universe Traveling window...a side effect is apparently memory loss when the test subject is in another world. My lab boys are doing what they can to bring him back."

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"Cave Johnson here! Soda bad for your teeth? Not anymore! We’re developing a soda that cleans your teeth as you drink it.
Now, the prototype did dissolve a few fillings… but those were weak fillings. Aperture fillings won’t dissolve. Probably."

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"Cave Johnson here. While Easter is incredibly unscientific, I would like to wish all the lab boys and test subjects out there a very happy Easter. Now, get back to the tests everyone "

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"Cave Johnson here! I figured it's time for Aperture Science to mess with death, with our latest prototype: The Aperture Science bring back to life device!"

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

@CharleyWAAPlant "I have my lab boys working on a device to give thumbs to plants! Shouldn't be too much longer."

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

Now, You may be asking yourself, Cave, aren't ground up moon rocks poison? Our lab boys have found out that's not the case if they are in liquid form. We are about 60% sure they are totally safe to drink! ...don't ask about the other 40%."

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"Cave Johnson here! Did you recently drink wine and got so drunk you regret it? Introducing: Aperture Science Drunkness remover! Just one swig of this beautiful moon rock juice will instantly restore you to a non-drink state! (1/2)

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"hey folks, Cave Johnson here. I'm currently having my scientists work on a memory erasing device. Something happen between you and a loved one? Forget them - and only them - completely. Sign up for testing today!"

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

🍋💥 replied coming soon.

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"if any of you lewd weirdos dare to show up here at Aperture Science, you will be assigned to a testing track full of turrets!"

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

//Don’t rush out your replies! This is a no pressure zone. RP is meant to be fun, not a job. Get to replies as and when you feel like it, don't force them or you will burn yourself out.

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"Agent Smith, you say?" Cave looked at the paper. "You-lab boy, figure out an alternative for this useless postal service. Things getting lost in the mail? Unforgivable!"

Turning back to the girl "so, Ms. Smith, you want a tour of the facility or something?"

[—『𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘿𝙤𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧.』𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐕 @RebelAcrossTime]

ㅤ
❝ Oh! No! No! I'm... Smith! Agent Smith - from Scotland Yard! ❞

She exclaimed, reaching into her jacket and pulling out her psychic paper.

❝ My guys booked an appointment with your guys for me to look around a bit! Must've got lost in the mail! ❞
ㅤ

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"You saying the invention was successful? I knew it! The lab boys said it couldn't be down! ...wait, who even are you and how did you get past the security boys? Someone is getting fired today!"

[—『𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝘿𝙤𝙘𝙩𝙤𝙧.』𝐗𝐗𝐈𝐕 @RebelAcrossTime]

ㅤ
✎ ~『 @TakeLemonsBack 』

❝ I swear I've seen you somewhere...

Aren't you the guy that invented combustible lemons? ❞
ㅤ

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

"why is it taking so long to make Combustible lemons? Come on you science things! Keep trying."

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

@REDWINESUPRN0VA

"Hmmm....you, Miss. You seem familiar somehow, although I don't know why. You like science, like my lovely Caroline?"

💥 🍋 Sorry it took me a while to get to this

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

🍋 💥 figured I would do this. (Yes, two emojis for OOC here...exploding lemons, get it?)

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

Hello, test subjects. In this new test we have a new type of gel that will let you stick to walls! Now I know what you're all thinking, and it's not made with THAT stuff.

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

Cave Johnson here. In this new testing sphere, gravity is set to a lower level, if you feel yourself floating, that's normal and part of the test. If you suddenly can't breathe however, alert a test associate and let them know, as that's not part of the test.

[Cave Johnson @TakeLemonsBack]

Hmm...maybe I should make a new cube out of moon rocks.