Talking Jesus

Seriously? You don't know who I am? I am. That is all.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

Hey @MistressMandy5 bb, you get that laptop I sent you yet? It's a little hobbit but it looks like you - adorable and portable. Hope you love it!I'll get you a big one ASAP. #Princess #Myfavorite #babygirl #getyouwell #getybackonlinepls #findom #fetishqueen

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

Second time in two days my @zenbe account is whitescreened- no email, just a white screen. Why am I paying for this again?

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

I want to be out with my camera and not stuck at work all day

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

I give the new Andoid app my blessing, it is the shit!

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@CattttMD But do they? I only have like four followers.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@impqueen Oh please. I would rule the internet with my Iron Rod. So Karaoke Revolution later? You be @adamlambert, I'll be @krisallen.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@impqueen I am the Lord, woman, I can be whoever I want. Right now I am Jim Parsons. Hallelujah, praise Me.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

knock knock knock Impy, knock knock knock Impy, knock knock knock Impy... behold @impqueen I stand at the door and knock. I am Sheldon.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@god Hey Dad, what's up? Happy Not-Dead Me Day! Did you get me a bunny?

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@impqueen Baby where is Satan's Twitter? Text him and ask pls. Does he even have a Twitter? Dick doesn't have a facebook.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

Techno-awesome, is what's happening. Yes, twitter, I am in your midst. I love you all. Even you, weird-ass evangelical Glamberts.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@not_an_offer I see you over there pretending I am not tweeting you. Also did you know there's another @notanoffer on Twitter? Confused me.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@impqueen hey hottie, what are *you* doin' way across the living room? Don't even act like you don't know Me.

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@adamlambert Heaven is My nightclub. The one where we celebrate the gayish holidays, like Booty Shorts On Twinks Day. Happy Spring indeed ;)

[Talking Jesus @TalkingJesus]

@adamlambert Sorry about My peeps, dude. They mean well, but some of them are gonna be very surprised to find glittery aliens in Heaven.