Captain Crunchtime

I know this guy, who knows this guy, who knows this guy’s COUSIN ...

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

I am no longer concerned with the state of the environment

[Page Six @PageSix]

Nicky Hilton is fighting climate change by wearing vintage Chanel https://t.co/mRtfLPaLuZ

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

The most disputed thing in my will is going to be my steam library

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Man is a title. Most of us are just males

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

@neiltyson if space is expanding faster than light would it then be considered the speed of darkness?

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

From now on I support any political candidate regardless of their beliefs as long as they are not an incumbent and do not receive corporate donations. I’d rather have someone I disagree with on every level than a corrupt pedophile in office.

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Didn’t know this was a thing https://t.co/jsp4eKk9jI.

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Those who trade liberty for security have neither

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Hi @elonmusk

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

What’s the best flavor of @PopTartsUS?

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

If I’m @Lowes at 8am on a Saturday, don’t ask me if I’m finding everything ok

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Congratulations to the refs for winning Super Bowl 57

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Home is where you know which red lights you can run

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

@netflix doesn’t support deployed troops

[DiscussingFilm @DiscussingFilm]

Netflix’s has introduced their anti-password sharing method:

Once every 31 days, your device must log in on your home Wi-Fi network or your account will be blocked.

(via: https://t.co/53hIxoWujK)

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

The only barrier between me and true happiness is warm gloves that I can work in

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Why is the @chargers motto not Get Amped! …? 🤔 or idk anything but Bolt Up

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

@CoachStaleyLAC can we let Justin Herbert start playing football now? 🤦‍♂️

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

The best things in life are crunchy

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

I know all the words to every single song @CorbLund has ever realeased

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

@SpeakerPelosi is an insider trader

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

Either your job is difficult or your life is difficult

[Captain Crunchtime @TalonDeMers]

It’s so weird that you can just ask people in montana “is there a * in montana?” And these people just have a mental list of locations and cities for everything (?) I’ve seen this phenomenon too many times for it to be coincidence