My coworker told me he got banned from a bar when he lived in North Dakota back in 1973 and didn’t try going back to it for 30 years but he finally did and the moment he stepped in someone yelled “Get the hell out of here Dennis” And that’s probably my favorite story ever
Jeff, if there was a fire and I had to choose a family member to save, obviously it’d be me. But if I had time to save one more, you can be damn sure I’d call the fire department. They’re experts in the field and have vast experience in these matters. I love you. Happy Birthday.
This calls for my favorite joke of all time:
Lawyer: so it says here that you want to divorce Minnie because she was... extremely silly?
Mickie: no, I said she was fucking goofy https://t.co/07ymxAxdNL