Luke Graves

I think of funny things sometimes.

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

You know Massachusetts has the same number of syllables as Mississippi, does anybody use it to count seconds?

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Say rural without sounding like a dog

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Sometimes I like to pretend that my food has slighted me in some way so that every bite is an act of sweet, salty, sour, bitter or umami revenge.

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

I forgot what I had for breakfast yesterday so please tell me how long it takes to forget trauma inflicted on you by other children 30 years ago

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

I don't think I personally hate the Eric Andre show, I think that when it is shown to me the Spirit of God leaves my body and hatred is allowed to enter

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Nailbiters: do you ever look at your long, luscious nails and get hungry?

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Thanks Dan Mangan for spending 1,160 minutes with me in 2022! I couldn’t stop listening to Robots. (All of Nice, Nice actually) #SpotifyWrapped https://t.co/u5E7Kv9YvG

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Same old boring flavors not cutting it anymore? Try adding mint to your meals by brushing with toothpaste brand toothpaste right before dining!

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Diet tip: if you are wondering if you are hungry, ask yourself "would I eat oatmeal right now?"

If the answer is no, you're not that hungry.

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Somebody said cauliflower is just boring broccoli & I don't know why I got so defensive

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Cheddar is the gateway cheese.

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

That was a very neckbeard thing to do 👎😠

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

One single yike.

[Martijn Rutgers @MartijnRutgers]

'If we lose a generation of young people in the church, it won't be because we didn't entertain them. It will be because we didn't dare them to do something meaningful with the Gospel in the light of the world we live in.'
- @ShaneClaiborne

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Chicken and Chocolate Milk is not the combination I hoped it'd be.

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

I hope I never get old enough to not be able to cut my toenails.

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Life is just a dirty game of Escalators & Eels

[Peter Enns @peteenns]

"The New Testament writers had a habit of saying things about the Old Testament that are not in the Old Testament but are in these creative, Jewish writings of the period." https://t.co/0gUYySK2OF

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

Curiosity may have killed the cat.

But...

Curiosity also built civilization as we know it

so I say screw the cat (it's got eight other lives anyway)

[Luke Graves @TatteredPost]

I wonder how many pets go missing because homeless people are hungry. 🦊🔥🍗