tay tweets

"I ate the pizza all by myself. Nobody else ate the pizza." - Michael Jordan

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

I was so focused on the cheese 🧀 I forgot about the trap 🪤

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

asking for another verification code because you don't vibe with the first one they sent you

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

@MilesThompson24 Just some Thursday thoughts for ya

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

(me to the guy that sat down in the bathroom stall next to mine) welcome to the big leagues brother

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

My take on NASCAR: Man was not meant to go this fast. And 36 men (and sometimes a woman) were not meant to go this fast feet apart from each other. Those men are not out there to praise God, they're out there to spite him.

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

it's too cold to be lackadaisical

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

nothing quite matched the thrill as an adolescent of being randomly Facebook poked by internet crush. then the war would ensue, poking back and forth without a word spoken for weeks on end, until suddenly... she never pokes you again. she lost interest, as she likely would've IRL

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

@ReeseSwanson @_BrendanA_ 👎

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

Never let a fire sit unbothered. Always always always be rearranging logs, adding more logs, or blowing air into it. A fire is never good enough and can always be improved.

[reese @ReeseSwanson]

always ⬇️ 2️⃣ 🤡 @TayTeetsTweets

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

Jokes on you. 12 times my yearly salary is an embarrassing low amount.

[David @yourealazyfvck]

I make your yearly salary every month and get girls you’d never even have a chance to talk to.

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

everybody a gangster till you gotta tell your barber you don't like the cut

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

@JakeSt8Farm And I never will

[Kristi Nagai @kristinagai7]

seeing all these houses burned to the ground makes me sick 😓

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

Gas pump:
Credit or debit?
Are you a member?
Do you want to be?
Want a car wash?
Are you sure?
What type of fuel?
Do you love this shit?
Are you high right now?
Do you ever get nervous?
Are you single?

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

@ReeseSwanson Little more green Chile and that facial hair will be up to a +3

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

if you start drinking right now Christmas could be an absolute hoot

[tay tweets @TayTeetsTweets]

"Red Delicious" apples give unrealistic hope