Taylor Hartwell

I facilitate the making of mouth sounds in Beijing

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@business First the White House, now Hungary. No one wants this guy. Sad!

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@thehill Good gracious. I guess they’re not bringing us their best.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@n_mateer Welp, that's it. China has risen.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@ABC That looks suspiciously like Dr. Spacemen from 30 Rock.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@politico This man makes simulation theory genuinely believable. Every new thing he says increasingly seems like the work of a bored Matrix admin.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@CNN Dear CNN: We’re too weak to look away: if you give these people a platform, we can’t help watching. Help us help you and stop having them!

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@thehill Would these be the same legal geniuses who tried to prevent a gossip-filled book from doing damage by yelling “DON’T PUBLISH THIS”?

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@CNNPolitics Based on that picture, I’d say step one is convincing DJT to cut his 18 holes short.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@ABC @nikkihaley @GStephanopoulos Looks like there’s a typo there. Please delete “new book about” and tweet this again. Thanks!

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@thehill I suppose that checks out. We said “no” 3,000,000 more times than we said “yes,” but he still considers it consensual.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@thehill Money on the table for whoever predicts the exact variant of “they begged me to come on their failing network” he defends himself with.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@Diplomat_APAC Hide the tea.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@david__moser 洋 ghosts, 洋 holidays...I don’t care how angrily people spit it out, I’m just never gonna be insulted by being called a wet sheep 😋

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@_NotFakeNews_ @thehill YOU LITERALLY SUPPORTED A PEDOPH-oh I get it, by yelling about him on the internet, I'm participating in making him seem like a malevolent and powerful entity worth discussing instead of a loser who couldn't win a republican senate seat in Alabama. Lemme try again: Who's Bannon?

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@realDonaldTrump @foxandfriends I gotta hand it to The Donald: it takes a special kind of something to pick the wrong horse twice in the same un-losable race and still keep telling everyone about your omniscience. No wonder his casinos did so well.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@MSNBC Well goodness, I suppose that depends on whether a mid-30's approval rating in year 1 and losing a Republican Senate seat in Alabama twice in one election bodes well or poorly for your political future. I'm sure some bright MAGA folks can clear it up for me.

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@thehill https://t.co/khpoh5Czwt

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@Slate Watch your back, Bob. The political mastermind who lost a republican senate seat in Alabama is coming for you!

[Taylor Hartwell @TaylorJHartwell]

@thehill Yeah, they tend to be biased against criminals. It’s kinda their thing.