taylor

your friendly neighborhood goblin • she/her

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

we had to get our cat’s medical records and they sent us the single greatest photo ever taken

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

if i ever tell you i made a “mental note” of something, DO NOT trust me. my mental notepad is an etch a sketch and it will be cleared as soon as i rattle my brain around trying to string together a semi-coherent thought

[U.S. Postal Service @USPS]

If you've already ordered your COVID test kits, you can now order another batch of free tests. Go to https://t.co/owrfQPvNWe

[Washington State Department of Health @WADeptHealth]

Starting TODAY Washingtonians can order free COVID Tests for delivery to their homes! The ordering portal is quick and easy! https://t.co/YFYrrqZptR #WACOVIDTest #SayYesCOVIDTest

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

saw a car on the way to work today with the license plate “LITG8R” and in the blissful moment of ignorance where i forgot the word “litigator” existed i was absolutely tickled that someone loved alligators enough to profess it through a vanity plate

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

real convenient for me that the time when spotify stops collecting data for rewind coincides with the holiday season so i can blast the christmas classic “sympathy 4 the grinch” by 100 gecs 24/7 with zero social repercussions

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

@docfankAP yes! it’s criminally underutilized

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

hell yeah i’m a woman in STEM

- Shenanigans
- Tomfoolery
- Extreme hijinks
- Mischief

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

saw a possum for the first time in my life so tonight is pretty momentous

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

turns out no matter how much it slaps you shouldn’t listen to a video game soundtrack while in the shower because you will get struck with the anxiety-inducing sense memory of getting ambushed by enemies while you’re mid-shampoo

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

thinking about when ruth bader ginsburg passed and my mom wanted to write “rip rbg” on her car but accidentally wrote “rip rgb” so it just looked like she was mourning the sick lighting in her pc

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

us after trump lost the election: lol cope

trump supporters, not knowing how “coup” is pronounced: hmmmmm

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

inside you there are two wolves. one sees republican lawmakers condemning efforts to overturn a legal election as the absolute bare minimum that shouldn’t be praised. the other can only think of that “heartbreaking: the worst person you know just made a great point” meme.

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

just thinking about how lifetime made a sponsored kfc themed romance mini-movie and yet when i pitched a mcdonald’s collaboration starring ronald himself i was forcibly removed from the pornhub office

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

might just fuck around and start taking these bad boys like daily multivitamins

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

next time someone asks me if i’m okay i’m just going to show them these pictures because the answer is obviously no

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

alright what male artist do you guys think is installing and removing these monoliths as a piece titled “maybe we are the aliens” or some bullshit like that

[taylor @TaylorKWatson]

y'all actually read theory? lame. i just listen to xs by rina sawayama and 9 to 5 by dolly parton on repeat and it's actually given me a perfect political ideology