Taylor Swearengin

[Drake Hy @Hyderix]

Thought this black ops 2 shit would be like riding a bike. #chopped #fat #retarded

[RIXH🦅🇦🇷(#10) @riplfcrixh]

#WhatThemArmpitsLookLike

[mo @fruitpibble]

i dont abuse alcohol i kiss it gently between its thighs

[miss worm @missus_wormy]

White people be like my dad got hooked on pills after he hurt his back

[Paige @GRUGCEL]

hantavirus fear mongering has hit the coworker discussion sphere

[vandul @_vandul]

stealing a fancy shiny sobriety chip during a vicious coke binge and telling people at the Applebees bar im 25 years sober while doing jager bombs shirtless

[chad @chasedbywasps]

I love you dearly in a noncommittal, abstract, and frankly almost useless way

[Cat Damon @CornOnTheGoblin]

[police sketch artist interrupts me] large naturals?

[Daniel 🇲🇩 @ultr4nima]

when ur white coworker lets everyone know he’s going home to boot up some balatro & shower with his grandma

[36 Year Old With Pacifier @tom_on_here]

If the cat in the hat tried any of that bullshit in my house, I’d shoot him dead

[Dennis Erectus, MD @errectusdennis]

Jerking off in bathrooms you wouldn’t even wash your hands in #tuggertuesday

[monkey spit @monkeyspiit]

Guy who puts family guy on as background noise during sex but gets distracted and watches family guy instead

[bean smoothie™ @beansm00thie]

plan A is to lock in, plan B is to blow my shit smoove off

[HowlingMutant @Howlingmutant0]

Making love to a woman only for her to wake in the dead of night to find me perched on her fire escape like a gargoyle and I whisper “Dont tell the world about my penis” before I extend my arms like the Crow and drop backwards, breaking every bone in my body on the pavement below

[World Renowned Hellgrammite Expert @GirlfriendHaver]

Im straight edge Hardcore now. I wont touch a beer but I frequently kick women in the head when I do my spin kicks in the mosh pit. Please clap for me

[🏴‍☠️ @calvinfroedge]

new mid terms strategy just dropped

[Tony Rigatoni @tonyrigatonee]

Welcome to the mines

[Circe @vocalcry]

My HOA is two weeks away from developing a nuclear weapon

[universal one love jim @importancatpete]

Sometimes you look up from your phone and realize that the highway you’re driving on is quite beautiful