Teach

New rapper looking for some people to listen to my music. So cool.

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Anyone else feel oddly satisfied when you kill a spider before taking a shit and you shit on the spider in toilet paper. It’s like a weird power move over a tiny insect.

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Why does the lead singer of @owlcity look like a whiter @boburnham who had friends growing up?

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

@hammyysammyy @hamskisamski How do I earn a spot?

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

If you’re seeing this on your feed here’s your sign:
I’m taking a massive shit right now. Let that sink in. #signs #Signals #fuckit

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

If someone asked me when humans would hate to get walked in on the most my answer might surprise. It’s right as someone goes to wipe their ass. I’m convinced there’s no more embarrassing pose than standing over the toilet wiping your asshole. #fuckit #TruthTime

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Sometimes I Google bombs just so that my FBI agent will slow my wifi way down. It’s nice to know someone’s still watching #fbiagent #fuckit

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

How many people have seen the Hidden Valley Ranch ads?Who told them in 2022 that no one knows about ranch and pizza? Like what? #youtube #ads #fuckit

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Proud to say when a TikTok says “how many times did you watch this?” In the caption, my answer is usually only as long as it took to read that caption. #fuckthesystem #donttellmewhattodo #fuckyou

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Ok but like hear me out. The only thing stopping you from eating in your asshole and shitting out your mouth is the control of your muscles. If you could control all your muscles at will you could projectile shit out your mouth. #fuckit

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Album out now on Spotify, Apple Music, and many other streaming services. Go check out The Drawing Board (Spotify link provide) https://t.co/LuCWMVzAT1 #music #fuckit #teach

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

My biggest problem with masks is when I chew gum I reach a point where my breath becomes too fresh and it starts stinging my eyes. #fuckit #COVID19

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

New album on its way out. Already on SoundCloud, coming to Spotify/Apple Music etc. Sometime this month. I’ll keep you posted. #music #fuckit https://t.co/9UwfvswVqM

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

If I was ever knighted I would have the queen do it with one of those plastic Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle swords that I had when I was a kid. Those things made battle sounds when you swung them. #TMNT #fuckit #knights

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Honestly that episode where Ash let’s Butterfree go with the other butterfree is sadder than 90% of anime deaths. #fuckit #pokemon

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

Fuck carpooling. If you don’t want to pay for gas literally just live in your coworker’s car. If they try to kick you out just take the car with you. You got squatter’s rights now bitch. #fuckit

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

You know what the oldest sentence I’ve actually said was? “Me and my friends used to rent PS2 games from blockbuster to play in my motor home on an old 10 inch tube tv.” #barelya90sbaby

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

I want to see a ‘what if’ episode for Thor and Loki where Odin is just actually a good dad. Tells Loki about his past. Tells them both he loves them. Doesn’t test them with magic spell bullshit. Doesn’t banish their older sister. Just does like normal dad shit with them.@Marvel

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

The tree that grows the wood for your coffin will probably be cut down before you die. Then it’s just waiting for you… #fuckit #disturbingthoughts

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

I would get fired from McDonalds on the first day. If someone was mean to me in the drive thru I would just take a bite out of their burger. How are they gonna prove it was me? I would ruin their whole meal like that. #fuckit #mcdonalds @McDonalds

[Teach @Teachwhoraps]

@hammyysammyy Good morning