TechBroCode

The tech bro code - in no specific order

[David Hundeyin @DavidHundeyin]

At least it was you people's preferred journalist that you can disagree with and whose work you can interrogate that wrote this one, not that crazy not-journalist David Hyundai.

This statement in red was made by someone who used to be Nigeria's president, while working as a lobbyist for an American pharmaceutical corporation that had used 200 Nigerian children as human guinea pigs for an illegal medical experiment.

So if you read this and see how - from the mouth of their lobbyist on payroll - western pharmeutical companies see the value of your African life, and your response to it is to continue calling Africans expressing rational skepticism "anti-vaxxers," then you're not a stupid or uninformed or pathologically delusional person.

You're just a Nigerian suffering from the Nigerian condition. I offer my commiserations.
https://t.co/Nv2FT5ygYW

[FinPlanKaluAja2 @FinPlanKaluAja2]

No Nigerian can visit Ajaokuta Steel Company (ASC), see investments of more than $8 billion rotting in the African sun, and not cry. I went there, I cried. What exactly is the problem? I have written several articles on this topic, but today, let me write a comprehensive post.

Ajaokuta Steel Company is massive; she has a 68km road network and 24 housing estates on the project. Some estates have over 1,000 homes, a seaport, and a 110mw power generation plant; there are 43 separate plants in Ajaokuta alone. It is estimated that if Ajaokuta becomes operational, it will create 500,000 jobs.

There is no industrialised nation on earth that does not have a steel sector. It’s that simple. A Central Bank of Nigeria (CBN) report shows that Nigeria currently imports steel, aluminium products, and associated derivatives of approximately 25 metric tonnes per annum, estimated at $4.5 billion. This figure will continue to rise, and the Nigerian economy will continue to expand. Ajaokuta is an integrated steel company; it was designed by the Russians to be self-sufficient, get all its input from Nigeria, and make steel. Ajaokuta's strength is its weakness; Ajaokuta can only work with all available inputs.

This will be a slightly technical post, but please try and follow.

Steel is an alloy of iron and carbon, amongst other things; iron is the base metal in steel, and to make steel, you need Iron Ore, Coke from Coal, and Limestone as the main components. These components are mixed in a blast furnace to produce liquid steel, which can be long steel for rail lines, flat steel for automobile making, etc.

For example, look at steel as making jollof rice, iron ore as the rice, limestone and coke as the pepper and salt, and the pot as the blast furnace. The blast furnace is ONLY turned on at a steel plane when the company is ready to make steel. Blast furnaces operate continuously and are never shut down. The raw material fed into the furnace is divided into several small charges introduced at 10 to 15-minute intervals. This means everything must be in place BEFORE the blast furnace is turned on: the iron ore, the coal, the limestone, everything; why? You do not switch off a blast furnace for another ten years, no matter how long it's campaign life.

Nigeria is blessed with all the primary raw materials needed to produce steel, including iron ore in Kogi, coal, and limestone in Enugu.

Nigerian iron has a deficient iron concentration. Agbaja has the largest iron ore deposit in Nigeria, with about 2 billion tonnes, but the Agbaja iron ore has a high phosphate content. Phosphate can cause brittleness in steel, making it fracture. Thus, Agbaja was abandoned for Itakpe. Itakpe iron ore has no issues with phosphate but has low iron content; therefore, to make steel with Nigeria iron ore, a process called “beneficiation” has to be done to process the Itakpe ores to raise its iron content to meet the required standard for steel production.

Coal? Most of the coal found in Nigeria is non-coking and, thus, unsuitable for steel production. Coal deposits in Enugu have no impurities but are non-coking. The good news? Nigeria has an abundant deposit of limestone, and we have natural gas to provide power

So, back to Ajaokuta, what happened? Why can Nigeria not make steel anytime soon? Let’s link up the elements.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

All Tech Bros believe in the supremacy of console.log(...) for debugging.

Until the going gets tough and they find themselves figuring out how launch.json works in VSCode.

[Peter Obi @PeterObi]

In Ibadan yesterday, I, accompanied by Mrs. Aisha Yusufu, Dele Farotimi, and Dr. Moses Paul, visited the headquarters of the International Institute of Tropical Agriculture (IITA), the organization whose duty it is to engage in agricultural research for the development of

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

Any solution a techbro does not immediately understand, is Overengineering.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

The fastest way to get a Senior techbro to review your PR, is to get a Junior techbro to approve it with "lgtm!".

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

Even though they take micro-vacations every work day, Tech bros will brag about the number of years since their last vacation.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

A tech bro will swear that hiring is broken by unnecessary algorithm tests, until they become managers and find themselves choosing the right hackerrank test for hires.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

A techbro does not simply use a tool.

They incessantly talk about how superior/inferior it is, compared to every other tool in the same genre that came before it.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

When all tests pass, a tech bro is allowed a 5 second window, to admire their terminal display.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

Tweeting, so this account can continue to demystify tech bros for years to come.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

A techbro does not simply use a tool.

They incessantly talk about how superior/inferior it is, compared to every other tool in the same genre that came before it.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

There is rejoicing in heaven, every time a tech bro sees the light and adopts TypeScript.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

When a tech bro wants to appear to be working on something novel, they will slap "Web3" on to it.

[TechBroCode @TechBroCode]

A tech bro downloads Signal for security reasons, then continues using WhatsApp.

[Specimen A @thislekan]

😂😂😂😂😂😂 I was thinking about this.

[Odogwu Machalla @unicodeveloper]

Lmaooooooooo…woooow!