TechSalesTom

Tom Niewiara⁣
Enterprise Tech Sales
200k followers on TikTok @TechSalesTom
I run a community to help people get into tech sales
CHI/AUS/LA

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@polarbrowser how is it different than Dia?

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@CeylaAi @zach_yadegari lmao

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

I failed a Jane Street interview because I didn’t understand hydration as a portfolio decision.

It was 2012. I had just finished my PhD at Stanford University.
280 pages on nonlinear systems. I once corrected a proof mid-seminar and nobody spoke for five minutes.
None of it mattered.

Round 6.

The interviewer walks in wearing hiking boots, gym shorts, holding a glass of water like it’s proprietary.

He writes:

coffee: $220/month
energy drinks: $310/month
tap water: $0
bottle: empty
focus: deteriorating

“What’s wrong with this?”

I say, “The bottle is empty.”

He says, “The bottle is strategic.”

I pivot. Energy drinks are a synthetic derivative of hydration. You’re paying a premium to replicate something with zero marginal cost. There’s an obvious arbitrage between synthetic and natural intake.

He stops me.

“You’re thinking in first order.”

I know I’m finished.

“Model the bottle as a liquidity constraint.”

Underlying?

“Cognitive endurance.”

Fine. The trade is simple: fill the bottle, reduce synthetic intake, capture the spread between artificial and natural hydration.

“You can’t reduce the energy drinks.”

Why?

“We auto-renewed your subscription in round 2.”

I do not remember round 2.

He writes:

vega: dehydration sensitivity
theta: caffeine crash
rho: baseline exhaustion

“You’re short water and long volatility.”

Then:

“How often should you drink?”

“Every hour, approximately.”

He nods. “And what happens each hour?”

“Refill the bottle.”

“In what size?”

“Full.”

“Consistency?”

“Constant.”

“And what do we call that?”

I hesitate. “Staying hydrated?”

The glass hits the table.

“No. Maintaining liquidity in the human system.”

Then he circles something I missed:

tap water: $0

An infinite, zero-cost supply with no counterparty risk. I’d been optimizing derivatives and ignored the underlying.

“How confident are you?”

“0.95.”

“In what?”

“The trade.”

“Which leg?”

Silence.

There were legs.

I hadn’t modeled the legs.

He takes a sip and says:

“You understand inputs. You don’t understand flow.”

I later learned the glass was the flow.

My degree sits somewhere. Every hour I drink water and rebalance.

In size.

I still don’t know what to do with the coffee.

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@TechRepublic9 @carverfomo it’s a paid ad for polymarket

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

Wow what a great idea, Monaco poker chip sets @samdblond

[LindyMan @PaulSkallas]

Friend of mine doesn't leave his apartment complex during the winter. $4k for rent. High ceilings. All glass. Penthouse suite. Pool and gym on top floor. Remote job. Gf who lives with him.

Just stays home.

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@PaulSkallas @jc2339505924 lol this is exactly me but paying $7k in Chicago for my 3 bed with parking in west loop

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

Sounds like you probably spent at least 2 hours researching what you needed to, looking up parts, buying them, installing them, etc etc. It also doesn’t look like you replaced it with the exact same part either.

I don’t think that anyone is surprised that you pay a margin for knowledge on top of parts and labor cost 😅

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@ItsAnOrangySky @TheCycloneDrew @PunkyCovfefe @SimpsonWalkerCo zero cost, they’ll let you defer 3-18months, and even allow you to modify the mortgage to a 40 year at your same rate to lower the payment

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@austin_rief Strongly agree. Once you cover basic needs and have security, happiness is a rate limiting function. Fancier things won’t give you any more enjoyment with the eighth mindset. Issue is that we’re constantly bombarded for things we don’t have, stealing happiness away.

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

Why are you comparing how much your portfolio would earning you in 24 years to the current social security pay without any cost of living adjustments? $3075 is the payment in 2024. In 24 years that $3075 payment will be $7579 if not higher which is pretty much $95k except you are guaranteed this amount and don’t have to worry about a financial downturn in retirement significantly cutting down your savings.

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

The year is 2025 as a SaaS AE

You get a new lead from your SDR

Inbound lead volume is down 70% because of AI

You have the choice of tipping 35%, 45%, or 55% of your commission

You sheepishly tap “35%” and feel bad about yourself

The SDR shakes their head in disgust

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@philip_ruffini I do B2B content creation, going to be almost impossible to get companies to pay $1250 per video with no additional reach through relevant influencers. There’s already a ton of high volume production companies that are churning out videos at $100 a pop.

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@AndyHVandenBerg That cadence is something I’d expect for cold leads, for actual high-quality inbound leads you need much more rigor. Day 0,2,4 need to be combined into Day 0, with the addition of phone calls. This is assuming these are ‘contact me’ type leads and not webinar attendees, etc

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@dotpenji Just sent a DM, let’s chat

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

wow, finally verified 😎

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@juice___nft Happy to help!!

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@realEstateTrent Kind of, but a house is ultimately worth what someone is willing to pay. Comps are leading indicators and don’t take into account competitive scenarios. Appraisals are only there for the bank to protect them from grossly overpaid homes that they would take a loss on if defaulted.

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

@tezcan_ben I’m in enterprise tech sales and have experience across all 3 of the big cloud companies as well as smarter startups. Most of my content on TikTok is aimed at bringing transparency to the industry and helping people get their foot in the door.

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

What are some other things you’d tell new reps to watch out for?

#techsales #sales #softwaresales #saas #career #careeradvice #google #amazon

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

BEFORE you accept that “$300k” OTE tech sales offer, do THIS:

https://t.co/Edt5EUSVaV

[TechSalesTom @TechSalesTom]

4. Ask your future manager to open up their Salesforce/CRM to back up pipeline statements. Too often hiring managers will over exaggerate pipeline and lead numbers when everything there is dead or nonexistent.