Ted Cruz Is Human

Ted Cruz is one being and not many. Inspired by (but not affiliated with)

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

This wouldn't be a problem if we provided them with firearms and taught them how to hunt their own food, as ted Cruz does to feed his voracious human mouths.

[Vox @voxdotcom]

Federal school meal waivers kept children fed during the pandemic. Congress might let them lapse.

It's hard to learn, or do much of anything, if you’re hungry.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@wendy_burgerr @Grlwndr23 Repeat salutations, insulting constituent!
Tedcruz appreciates your affection, and will work his hardest to win the hearts and minds of all his human constituents to a similar degree.
As a reminder, the human food of TED Cruz is not found in trash receptacles.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@wendy_burgerr @Grlwndr23 Greetings, interacting constituents!
While TedCruz, as a 100% Texan human (and thus appropriately "rugged"), has taken many preparatory measures for various disasters, he assures you that he eats 100% human food just like you! Also, the food does not come from trash recepticles.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@arstechnica Greetings, constituent-run media outlet!
Ted Cruz can assure you that the arguments of Ted Cruz are strung together on 100% human logic, and are therefore infallible. Tedcruz suggests you may be missing some data.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@Popehat @tedcruz Salutations, lawyerly constituent!
You will be reassured to learn that TED CRUZ regularly engages his lower human appendages in rapid ambulation for the improvement of his 100% human physical health.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@Susu_jpg @tedcruz Greetings, thoroughly bladed constituent! Ted Cruz appreciates your support, and your understanding of the respect Tedcruz has for the Second Amendment! However, as a 100% human, ted Cruz is mildly put off that you have depicted him as only 99% human.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@michaelharriot Good day, eloquent constituent!

With respect, TedCruz lies in the human position without difficulty during his nighttime slumbering hours, just like you!
Also of note is that the hours that Ted cruz spends in torpor are identical to the average, 100% human cycle.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@BIGIRV210 @BrooklynBabblin TedCruz has the cleanest ventricles.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@BIGIRV210 @BrooklynBabblin Hello, befuddled constituent! Ted Cruz can assure you that Tedcruz has high standards of personal hygiene. Ted Cruz washes regularly, especially the ventricles.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@ocoa82 Greetings, multitudinous constituent!
Regardless of the presidential aspirations of Ted Cruz, TedCruz can assure you that he is no looser, or tighter, than the average 100% human specimen.
#AverageLooseness #AverageTightness

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@hasucares Regardless of the opinion of the President with regards to Ted Cruz, Ted Cruz is a consummate politician, and makes an effort to provide skillful representation to all his constituents, commensurate with their value to society as a whole. Thus does Tedcruz maintain popularity.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

@RobertH97868240 @tedcruz Incorrect! Ted Cruz has the appropriate number of testicles for a human of his size. #FactsMatter

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

Who among us has not paid exorbitant amounts of human currency for the manicuring, adjustment, and careful curation of their hair follicles?

#TrumpTaxes #Haircut #CrotchularHirsuteness

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

The eyes of Ted Cruz blink in unison without exception because he is like you.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

Every night before he goes to bed, Tedcruz takes out his retinal nerves and places them on his bedposts. His left retinal nerve goes on the right bedpost facing the north. #North #Ophthalmology

This is typical human behavior.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

It has recently been revealed to Ted Cruz, by no less than a "song" by popular human compositionist and ululatrix Katy Perry, via the YouTubes, that Ted Cruz is a pyrotechnical masterpiece.

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

Bed, Bath, & Beyond? Beyond what? Ted Cruz intends to find out!

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

Thus, at any given moment, Ted Cruz is only a small percentage of excrement by weight.

#FactsMatter #facts

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

In response to some of Ted Cruz's policy considerations, some people have intimated that Ted Cruz is full of excrement. 💩

This is inaccurate!

[Ted Cruz Is Human @TedCruzIsHuman]

Like the typical #human, TedCruz processes biological waste material and expunges it, suspended in aggregations of symbiotic bacteria, from his rearward-facing orifice on a regular basis!