TED

Hey! Im Ted, mind if you follow me for funny Ted jokes? Watch Ted in movies: Ted the movie coming in theaters this July! (Not Officially Ted) TedisReal.com

[TED @TedMoviee]

@Laughbook Wtf kid! You fucking copied me you asshole.

[TED @TedMoviee]

This guy looks pretty ugly, I wonder who that might be... He for sure doesnt look like me..

[TED @TedMoviee]

Oh Yeah, That's Right!

[TED @TedMoviee]

Feeling like a super hero, when done cleaning the house.

[TED @TedMoviee]

Going to the bathroom and taking a shit. Shit that is so big that it feels like you are pushing out a baby out of your ass.

[TED @TedMoviee]

Walmart logo sign. So lame!

[TED @TedMoviee]

Gets better from a sickness from someone. A day later, I get sick again. Aww like what the fuck is going on?!

[TED @TedMoviee]

Puts a fire. Gets marshmallows but no branch sticks around for marshmallows.

[TED @TedMoviee]

Can't open a cap of a water bottle. Uses my shirt for better grip for opening.

[TED @TedMoviee]

I dont think I could ever stab someone.. I barely can get the straw into a Capri Sun.

[TED @TedMoviee]

Follow me (@TedMoviee) for funny tweets & and you should follow @Laughbook for funny good tweets also!

[TED @TedMoviee]

This is me staring at you awkwardly. #Beware!

[TED @TedMoviee]

Watch the official trailer of TED the movie on YouTube: TED Trailer.

[TED @TedMoviee]

Follow> @Laughbook <for funny tweets every day! Follow now@Laughbook

[TED @TedMoviee]

Ted Movie: Rated R

[TED @TedMoviee]

Man: "Why are all the girls here in my house?" Ted: "They've joined me for the day for a little drink, what do you expect?"

[TED @TedMoviee]

I may be a Teddy bear and named Ted, but I am the best on earth!

[TED @TedMoviee]

Man: "I don't feel good." Ted: "Mind if I drive you?" Man: "Yeah sure, no problem." Ted: *Drives through lot and scratches someone's car*.

[TED @TedMoviee]

Hey guys it is Ted here! I have just joined Twitter, I got funny jokes to say! Watch Ted the movie. Coming soon in theaters!