The Tedkins

I am The Tedkins, the mysterious El Gato. I am a cat, living in a dog's body. Opinionated, snarky, amusing. Most of my observations are pure genius. Most.

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

This is what my life has come to.
The cone.
How could the peoples do this… to ME?!
I decided I am changing my name to…
DisgusTED

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

It’s such an insidious plan. Everyone knows I have a think for the girl poodles. I must remember that she is the enemy. You can see how dangerous she is...

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

There is another tiny girl dog in the house. She looks innocent, but those are exactly the ones you have to worry about. I am sure that this is a conspiracy. They are going to try to overthrow my manly reign in the house. I am on guard against a coup.

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

I love to sleep in the funky poses, just to amuse the peoples. I call this one “Cliffhanger“.

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

This is what the peoples do when they are bored. I’d take offense, but I really love the cheese popcorns.
#NotHatingThePandemic

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

Tiny Dog’s head is too large for her body.
Seriously.
It is.
#AmIRight
#BrainIsStillTinyThough

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

This is me, pretending I don’t know you when you are walking around with that stupid mask on.
#QuarantineAwayFromMePlease

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

Big Dumb Dog,
I miss you already.
You taught me everything I know, which, turns out, is not that much! JK!
You were a great friend and companion, and an awesome big brother.
Much love and respect.
Rest In Peace, Cooper.

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

It’s all just miscommunication, people! I bring you a gift that demonstrates my valor, and my love and respect for you. You just see a dead rabbit at the foot of your bed. We just need to get in the same page.
#SorryAboutTheCleanUp

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

@JPaigeWWJ Go, girl!!!

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

Sometimes, the lady messes with my hair while I am doing the sleepings.
#NotAmused
#ThereWillBePaybacks

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

When you are yelling at me to stop barking, and saying things like, “Ted, we can’t be assholes...”, I have to respectfully disagree. I think we both have it in us.
#MajorAholeReportingForDuty

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

Since you are just lying in the bed on a Sunday morning, with no apparent purpose in life, perhaps you can rub my belly.
#YoullFeelBetterAboutYourself
#OrAtLeastIWill

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

I need to inform you that every belly rub you’ve ever given me has been sub-par and insufficient.
#NotLongEnough
#WorkOnYourSkills
#YouCanPracticeOnMe

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

I did not leave those Ted-sized paw prints on your pillowcase. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.
#YouShouldProbablyWashThatThing

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

You are way more attractive to me when you have the garlic breath.
#TalkItalianToMe

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

Sunday morning in bed... I stretch my body out across yours as much as I can. So that more of me can touch more of you. Also, I have a better chance of smothering you this way.
#YouCouldSaveYourselfIfYoudGetUpAndFeedMe

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

Just a reminder...
There is no “I” in team.

But... there’s two in idiot.

#TedWisdom

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

Tiny Dog is obsessed with the baby squirrels on the front porch. It’s her favorite show. She’s binge-watching.
#SesameSquirrel
#13ReasonsSquirrel
#SquirrelerThings

[The Tedkins @Tedkinz]

I know Sunday morning is your only day to sleep in, but Sunday morning is also the only day I can wrestle the Tiny Dog on top of you while you are trying to sleep.
#YourNeedsVsMyNeeds
#MyNeedsAlwaysWin