Mental Mama

Your teen shut you out again.
Here’s what to say instead of “What’s wrong?”
Calm scripts you can use tonight. 👇

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

When your teen is having a meltdown or shutting down, your instinct may be to fix it.

Don't. Stay by their side instead.

Don't say:

“What's wrong?”

or

“Calm down.” / “Stop overreacting.”

or

“I know how you feel.” (You don't) / “Talk to me!”

Say these instead. 👇

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

@mamallama345 @NickAdamsinUSA @ColumbiaBugle I understand that you don't like ordering food, especially since you're the one paying for it, but instead of just outright stripping it away, you could try to make her see why you're doing it and try a workaround like having specific DoorDash days that she can look forward to.

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

@CalZoneXIV @Nevralesca If they are still communicating with you at all, it's a win, instead of trying to take them off discord, try just doing things outside of discord with them. Build a habit or a little thing that only you guys do, and it'll slowly open a way for you guys to communicate off Discord.

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

I keep these printed cards in my drawer so I don’t have to rethink what to say in the moment.

If you want the scripts, they’re in the bonus kit with The Calm Parent’s Toolkit.

Link in bio.

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

When your teen is having a meltdown or shutting down, your instinct may be to fix it.

Don't. Stay by their side instead.

Don't say:

“What's wrong?”

or

“Calm down.” / “Stop overreacting.”

or

“I know how you feel.” (You don't) / “Talk to me!”

Say these instead. 👇

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

Instead of saying, "What's wrong?"

Say, "You don't have to tell me what's wrong; just know that I'm here."

Instead of saying, "I know how you feel."

Say, "I may not know how you feel now, but I am open to listening anytime you're ready." Then stay near them.

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

Here's the link to The Calm Parent's Toolkit:

https://t.co/XqXTWotNPj

Use code CALM20 at checkout for 20% off

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

@childmindinst Most Parents interpret this wrongly as teens being lazy or just not paying attention, but in reality most of the time the teen is just showing early symptoms of anxiety, in times like this don't simply ask them to "try harder", let them know that you're there and ready to listen.

[Child Mind Institute @childmindinst]

Struggles in school don’t define a child’s future. In fact, the school years offer valuable opportunities to learn about strengths, identify areas where support can help, and develop resilience. Encouraging children to keep trying, even when something feels hard, can make a lasting difference.

We have guides for helping kids build habits that support success throughout the school year. See our resources here:

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

@childmindinst Most Parents interpret this wrongly as teens being lazy or just not paying attention, but in reality most of the time the teen is just showing early symptoms of anxiety, in times like this don't simply ask them to "try harder", let them know that you're there and ready to listen.

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

If your teen just went quiet, don’t ask “What’s wrong?”

Try: “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. I noticed, and I’m around whenever.”

Pressure is usually what shuts the door.

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

“How was school?” is why you get “fine.”

Use this instead:

“Tell me one good part of today and one hard part, go.”

They may not like it at first, but keep doing it, and it'll become "your little thing" that they look forward to

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

“How was school?” is why you get “fine.” Use this instead:

“Tell me one good part of today and one hard part, go.”

It's easier to answer than a report of the whole day

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

“How was school?” is why you get “fine.” Use this instead:

“Tell me one good part of today and one hard part, go.”

It's easier to answer than a report of the whole day

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

“How was school?” is why you get “fine.”

Use this instead:

“Tell me one good part of today and one hard part, go.”

They may not like it at first, but keep doing it, and it'll become "your little thing" that they look forward to

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

A 400-page PDF sitting untouched in a folder helps no one.

A 5-minute habit you actually do tonight changes things.

That's why The Calm Parent's Toolkit is 3 simple moves, not a curriculum.

Link in replies👇

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

Here’s a script for the next time your teen shuts you out in the middle of a conversation. 👇

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

If your teen just went quiet, don’t ask “What’s wrong?”

Try: “You don’t have to tell me what’s wrong. I noticed, and I’m around whenever.”

Pressure is usually what shuts the door.

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

This is one of the printable script cards in the bonus Quick-Reference Kit that comes with The Calm Parent's Toolkit, for exactly these moments.

Use code CALM20 for 20% off: https://t.co/XqXTWotNPj

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

Here’s a script for the next time your teen shuts you out in the middle of a conversation. 👇

[Mental Mama @Tegs_Code13]

Instead of "What's wrong?" try "I'm here if you want to talk about anything." Then just stay in a place where they know they can find you.

It sounds small, but it takes the pressure off, and pressure is usually what makes teens shut the door in the first place.