Tejuwrites

Humorist | Socialpreneur | 9-5er | Author | Operator | Unconventional

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

Dear @duolingo resetting my near 600-day streak is the reason I'm never coming back! That was a wrong move. I'm sure if you look at your exit data of those who stopped playing, you'd notice higher turnover following a streak reset. Better to charge to keep it than to reset.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

@UberNigeria I just discovered that I erroneously shortpaid my last uber ride by a few amount. How do I get the rider's details to refund the difference pls?

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

@MTNNG This has been sent to your DM.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

@MTNNG This is Day 5 since network went completely off from our MTN fibre network. Your team claimed a migration was poorly done & we suffer the consequences. No email or text message apologizing or letting us know when this will be resolved. Just the usual lackadaisical approach

[Techsoma Africa @techsomaafrica]

From Konga to Cars45 to MANO, Teju Fola-Alade (@TejuWrites)has quietly shaped some of African tech’s biggest stories, not through code or capital, but through culture.

https://t.co/7XSuJCyWUY

[Kelechi DonPido @kmbiamnozie]

Let me tell you guys a story that still breaks my heart, and will break yours too. The $10 MILLION DOLLAR THAT KILLED A NATION'S FUTURE

This will be long, so please bear with me. Years ago, during one of the United Nations General Assembly meetings (UNGA), we hosted a side event titled “Elevating Nigeria’s Infrastructural Capacity.” It was well attended. Nigeria’s economic titans were there: Dangote, Jim Ovia, Tony Elumelu, the Minister of Power, then-Senate President Bukola Saraki, and several governors who came along with the President.

Heavyweights from global industry circles like Calpine, GE Electric, and Russian energy companies also graced the event.

It was there that I met Wale Tinubu for the first time, a man of few words but immense humility.

Now, if you know GE Electric, you know they understand power; energy is their domain. After the summit, I organized a private consultation between GE and one of the Nigerian governors. GE had tried to enter the Nigerian market through the federal route but kept meeting brick walls. So, they were open to working with a state directly.

They proposed a game-changing deal: they would build an energy plant with a generation capacity of 120,000 MW, enough to power all of Nigeria, continuously.

Their conditions?
- GE would build and operate the infrastructure.
- They’d handle distribution and collection of rent.
- After 25 years, they would hand it all over to the state.
- The cost to the state? ZERO.
A Public-Private Partnership like no other.

I was overjoyed. The governor was, too, or so it seemed. He promised to take it to his cabinet once back home.
One week later, I followed up. No response.
Two weeks passed. Nothing.
Then I finally received a message from his Chief of Staff. The message?: “The Governor says he’ll sign the deal, but only if GE pays $10 million upfront.”

Ten. Million. Dollars.

I was stunned. Devastated. Ashamed.
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I had to tell my U.S. counterparts at GE, though I could barely muster the courage. You see, after the Halliburton scandal, U.S. companies face prison time if they offer or receive bribes overseas. GE flat-out refused but even offered a more ethical option: the governor could receive a shareholding stake in the company. A win-win solution.

When I relayed this better, cleaner offer, the governor snapped. He hung up and told me never to call again. I flew to Nigeria the next day to meet with him and his team, to plead with them to reason with GE, he was busy all through I was in Nigeria, busy doing nothing other than coveting other people’s wives.

And just like that, a deal that could have changed the face of Nigerian energy forever died.

Now, for context: for my frequent travelers, JFK International Airport in New York has a cogeneration plant powered by natural gas, delivering up to 110 MW of electricity. That single airport can export energy to the national grid.

LAX (Los Angeles) airport consumes 21.3 MW on average, peaking at 30-35 MW.

Heathrow in London averages 22.8 MW, peaking at 33-40 MW.

JFK New York averages 20.3 MW, peaking at 28-30 MW.

Let me be clear: These figures are for airports. Not cities. Not states. Just airports.

And yet, the entire Nigeria has an installed capacity of 13,625 MW, but only 4,850 MW is typically available due to corruption, infrastructure decay, and fuel problems. From 1999 till now, Nigeria has wasted over $80 billion USD on energy allocations and contracts, most of it looted.

Just imagine, if only we could deploy the same, or better energy infrastructure like the ones in any of these airports, airports, that will be more than 30 MW, bigger than what we currently generate and distribute as a country.

The problem is not that we lack solutions in that country. The problem is that wicked, soulless individuals have hijacked our governance. Creatures of greed who hate the people they are meant to serve.
That one governor’s selfish decision didn’t just deprive his state, it deprived a whole nation of progress, pride, and prosperity.

If that deal had gone through, that state would be exporting power today. That one plant could have triggered an energy revolution in Nigeria.

Don’t ever tell me Nigeria is impossible to fix. You don’t need four years to transform this country. Two years is too much for someone who knows what to do to lay a formidable foundation that will be glaring for all eyes to see.

Nigeria is not suffering from a lack of ideas. It is not lacking capable men or competent solutions. It is held hostage by a cartel of wicked men in agbada and the cowards who polish their shoes. And until we purge the masquerade, until we reject the Judas-class of "influencers" like Omojuwa and his likens of tiny mongrels. Those total low lives of marginal proportions, the kind that occupy the lowest rungs of moral hygiene yet strut around like peacocks dipped in kerosene, the vagabonds who masquerade as thought leaders while serving the belly and betraying the people, nothing will change.

Men who wear tribe like a badge but hide their shame in data. Men who post graphs by day and collect Ghana Must Go by night. Men who sell the future of 200 million people for a retweet, a ribbon-cutting, or a contract. These are not neutral observers; they are enablers of evil.

But let me remind you, brothers and sisters: the revolution has already begun, in the hearts, in the minds, in conversations like this, and in every righteous refusal to stay silent. Every time you speak truth like this, you plant a seed. Every time you expose the filth behind the agbada, you loosen their grip on our nation’s soul.
It will take rage. It will take clarity. But most importantly, it will take courage.
So keep speaking. Keep naming them. Keep breaking the silence.
Tell the defenders of mediocrity this: A NEW NIGERIA IS P-O-SSIBLE.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

Check out the latest article in my newsletter: You Relocated, Congratulations. You’re Still Nigerian. https://t.co/5ojOMJPRJo via @LinkedIn

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

@EbongDi @TeniolaYBNL As in! 😂🤣

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

@Domina_01 @TeniolaYBNL My thoughts too. You know how we like to romance suffering and stress in this part of our clime. Don’t think there’s any difference in taste though. Just a mental resistance at play to yam being pounded with ease. A typical behavior we have.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

@alobz @TeniolaYBNL I was going to say this. My mum in law got a yam pounder I think as part of her wedding gift or an event she attended in the 80s or 90s. And her oldest is already over 40. So Yam Pounders have always existed. Just didn’t catch. Probably due to cost.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

What’s the best advice you can give someone just starting out in the corporate world?

#corporatelife #tejuwrites #hrgirl #humorist

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

What's holding you back? Fear of missing opportunities? Procrastination or uncertainty?

Start with a clear direction, prioritize important tasks, and work SMART. Achieve your goals, and don’t work for just working sake.

#entrepreneurship #productivity #tejuwrites

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

Working 24/7 but growth has stalled? You might be focusing on the wrong things.

Chasing every potential client, unstrategic social media marketing, and ineffective networking are just busy work.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

Busy ≠ Productive.
Don't confuse activity with progress. Ask yourself: "Does this task get me closer to my goal?"

If no, LET IT GO.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

Calling in sick on Friday after a public holiday.

Is it a well timed escape for your hair appointment or you’re indisposed? We’ll find out on today. 😒

Have a lovely week ahead!

#weekend #9to5 #tejuwrites #corporatehumor

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

Taking care of yourself isn't a luxury, it's a necessity. Don't let anyone guilt trip you into sacrificing your well-being for the sake of your job. Burnout is not a badge of honor. 🤗

#selfcare #tejuwrites #9to5

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

Don't let your 9-to-5 become your 24/7 identity. If you think your life outside of work is a distraction, it's time to reevaluate.

#worklifebalance #selfcare

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

1/3: Calm down, stay skeptical and know that no one truly posts all their failures and struggles online (unless it’s a grass to grace story). You’re doing better than you think!
Have a lovely weekend.

#hrgirl #tejuwrites #linkedinvsreallife

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

1/1: Online profiles can cause unrealistic expectations. Other people’s carefully curated content and consistent success stories can lead to feelings of inadequacy.

[Tejuwrites @TejuWrites]

1/2: You’ll end up feeling like a hot mess and find yourself wanting to rebrand every month, all in the name of keeping up with someone else’s aesthetic online. Your real life can be way more interesting that someone’s reel.