Terminally Salaried

The Shareholders’ Dog. Handicap Stall Enthusiast. Partially Meeting Expectations.

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

How it feels to scroll reels and juice my brain of all its dopamine on a WFH day

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Meeting up with the unemployed bro after a day at the office to indulge in a shared hobby (drinking beer)

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

My morning routine is sitting on the edge of my bed like this for 20 minutes before work

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

How it feels to insider trade

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Interns after working 80 hour weeks for four months and not getting a return offer

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

New hires when they find out why the company was hiring

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Me at 9:14am still waiting for my company laptop to boot up after rolling straight out of bed

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Running into my coworker at the gym on a WFH day

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

How a patio beer feels after a long work week in August

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Stepping out of the fluorescent office light for the first time on a Friday afternoon

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Scarcity creates value. Don’t show up to work tomorrow.

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

“Congratulations on your promotion. It comes with a lot more responsibility, so expect to put in some extra hours. Oh, and it comes with a 2.5% pay bump!”

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

The look the intern gives after deleting the deal folder, scheduling a meeting for 3am instead of 3pm, and replying “say less” to the VP’s request

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Another day, another hard-fought battle between my salary and my bills

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Me looking through the annual compliance training knowing I’m going to insider trade anyway

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

When a day-one homie reaches out asking for a “coffee chat”

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Me after a long day of maximizing shareholder value

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Me after a long day of maximizing shareholder value

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Me after a long day of maximizing shareholder value

[Terminally Salaried @TerminalSalary]

Me and the fellas leaving the office to get slop bowls, circa 2026