Terrible PFF Grades

We here at PFF have a multi-million dollar algorithm at our disposal, and still never have any idea of what we're talking about.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF would like to remind you that our Billion Dollar Algorithm knows much more than any coach or talent scout could ever hope to. And just because we accept money from players to raise PFF scores, doesn't mean our work is all a sham.

Shame on you, JJ.

[Pat McAfee @PatMcAfeeShow]

"I've literally sat in a meeting room with coaches and put the grades side by side..

A coaches grade and a PFF grade and they're not even close" ~ @JJWatt #PMSLive

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF would like to remind you that since TJ Watt only leads Garret and Parsons inobjective stats like Sacks, Tackles, Solo, TFL, INTs, FF, TDs, and PDs, he is clearly a tier below the two EDGE Rushers who clear him in Pass Rush Win Rate, a stat we subjectively evaluate.

[Blitzburgh @Blitz_Burgh]

PFF said Watt is a tier below Garrett and Parsons. #Steelers #NFL

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@goldeneagleFB @StatsGuyDaniel @PFF We here at PFF will allow our Billion Dollar algorithm to do the work for us when determining which player played better.

We always take into account a players double team rate. Because Garrett gets double teamed 3.57% of the time more than Watt, he's likely to score higher.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@JeffBruder @StatsGuyDaniel @Joeyy_Sanchezz We here at PFF would like to point out that Myles Garrett earns his high rankings each week by sending 10% of his paycheck in to support our Billion Dollar algorithm. He also gets double teamed .37% more than TJ Watt, and therefore earns his higher scores.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@TJBirchok @StatsGuyDaniel @PFF We here at PFF would like to refute that statement.

We will be sucking Garrett to the appropriate level as determined by our state-of-the-art Billion Dollar algorithm. If he is dry afterwards has nothing to do with us.

Congrats on your top ranking this week, Myles. 😉

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF would like to say that none of these stats actually matter, because despite TJ Watt actually impacting the game repeatedly, Garrett was double teamed 4% of the time more than Watt, and will therefore recieve a higher PFF grade.

[Daniel Valente @StatsGuyDaniel]

Myles Garrett tonight vs. Steelers
- 1 tackle
- 1 QB hit
- 0 TFL
- 0 PD
- 0 sacks

T.J. Watt vs. Browns:
- 4 tackles
- 4 QB hits
- 2 TFL
- 1 sack
- 1 PD
- 1 FR
- 1 TD

Just saying.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF would like to remind you that just because one player clearly played better than the other, does not mean that they will score better. You see, we have this Billion Dollar algorithm that we plug each play into, and it does the math, and outputs the best rage bait.

[Jersey Al - GBP @JerseyAlGBP]

So PFF gave Justin Fields a 60.9 score and Jordan Love 60.8, mostly due to a high running score. And they gave Love a worse fumble rating even though he didn't lose his but Fields did? What are they doing over there?

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF just kind of forgot that TJ Watt exists since he got hurt last year.

The fact that he tied the NFL single-season sack record and won DPOY in 2021 slipped our mind, and led us to name Mykes Garrett the #1 edge defender going into 2023.

[PFF @PFF]

1. Myles Garrett
...
32. Alex Highsmith

The Top-32 edge defenders heading into next season, per @TampaBayTre
https://t.co/FCMD5ZXFi0

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF have an upcoming Dynasty Fantasy Football draft, and need help choosing our team, so we've decided to crowdsource those decisions to you.

[PFF @PFF]

Joe Burrow vs Josh Allen

Which QB are you taking?

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

(PFF does not track number of players bludgeoned over the head with their own helmet)

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF feel that Myles Garrett is worth more than TJ Watt despite all of the stats in favor of Watt over Garrett.

This includes Team Win Percentage (when healthy), Sacks, Tackles for Loss, Forced Fumbles, Interceptions, etc.

[PFF @PFF]

Build your perfect defensive line with $10 💰

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@chasedadood @JamesCaughtIt We here at PFF would like to publicly state that we love the biased geeks on our staff. If any of them quit producing propaganda for us, we would have no chance at controlling the Billion Dollar algorithm, and our income would suffer, so those geeks are our heros.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF would like to remind everyone that we have a billion dollar algorithm that completely ignores Passer Ratings and number of TDs/INTs thrown.we feel the same way about yards and completions.

We here at PFF only care about our favorites being #1 every week.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@BigSimmi29 We here at PFF wish to ensure you that we have decided to stop trying to make it look like we know what we're talking about anymore. It is exhausting to run a company built on lies, so we've decided to drop the charade.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@Eric94292586 @ay_taybay We here at PFF released a statement earlier today announcing that we have simply given up pretending to know what we are talking about.

Sorry for any inconvenience, but honestly, we really don't care if we're wrong as long as our favorites top the list.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF have officially given up trying to make it look like we know what we're talking about.

[PFF @PFF]

Myles Garrett was on a mission in Week 1 😳

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@left1000 While we here at PFF generally agree with that statement, our Billion Dollar algorithm has an option to simply ignore entire teams, and in this case, we chose to ignore the Steelers. Though, Myles Garrett still would have been graded #1 anyway.

We hope that helps clear it up.

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

We here at PFF wanted to start the season off right by ignoring every Steelers player who contributed to a 5-turnover game against the AFC Champs - including Minkah, who had a pick 6, a PAT block, and allowed just 2 receptions all game to his side of the field.

[PFF @PFF]

The highest-graded defenders in Week 1

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

@SteelCityMikey

[Terrible PFF Grades @Terrible_PFF]

Around the 4 minute mark, it is alleged that players can pay PFF to inflate their numbers.

We here at PFF would like to assure you that we will DM you our cashapp if you're unhappy with your PFF numbers. Our algorithm is just buying Cris Colinsworth 4 whiskeys at the bar anyway.

[Big Cat @BarstoolBigCat]

My favorite past time is teeing Jerry up for Steelers debates