Kevin

Thank you Ellen for sponsoring our esports team!

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

Don’t know why peeple teach dogs how to sit and all that junk. why not teach it a useful skill, like welding

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

The one time of year when I finally get a chance to sun tan and you would not believe what happens...

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

Finally, that one time of year where watching the commercials for the superbowl pay off

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

The bride of Frankenstein but it’s a sex comedy where doctor Frankenstein is like dude we gotta get you laid

[A24 @A24]

If the suit still fits… This year, we’re bringing Jonathan Demme’s groundbreaking 1984 Talking Heads concert film STOP MAKING SENSE (newly remastered in 4K!) back to theaters worldwide. #StopMakingSense2023

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

If y’all don’t have a brother-in-law, get one. Mine keeps giving me free shirts

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

I love seeing people in NY with a bag from the m&m store or something like that cuz you just know they had an awesome New York day

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

I’m getting jealous of all the attention Jesus is getting

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

Sleeping with a loaded gun under my pillow tonight in case I hear the grinch

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

@98ply German is a Romance language. I dare anyone to Change my mind

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

You just know Germans got a crazy word for morning wood

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

@CNN My octopus keeps playing COD

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

@laserboat999 No. Shut up.

[Scott Gairdner @scottgairdner]

Excited for many, many more weeks of “if this site goes down” eulogies and no one actually leaving

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

@mrbobodenkirk No this was today

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

I have been able to Groundhog Day myself four times.

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

Getting hit in the genitals is a gentleman’s injury

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

If you’ve ever had to sit between people and thusly had to scrunch your arms and shoulders in to fit than you’re a beta

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

All of my children went out for cigarettes and never came back

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

You see a day to spend with friends and family, I see another day to grind

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

I’m trying to film one of those ransom videos where the hostage reads our demands but the fucking hostage keeps looking into the camera

[Kevin @TetanusKing]

I am looking for help developing a video game featuring hyper sexualized ray tracing