Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law

just doing lawyer things until the Twitch & YouTube channels that I put no consistent effort in to take off.
mostly shitposting

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

Blew out my sphincter running on an Olympic track, call that pro laps

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

Liberals shitting crying and throwing up after being asked to do anything more aggressive than schedule an intensive finger-wagging session three general assemblies from now

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@hewantswealth "How to avoid recession? Make more money while spending less money at the same time. I am very smart and this advice is definitely for people who know how to read."

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@LinkofSunshine HOA fees tripling because Gertrude broke her wrist firing a .22 at a suspected intruder at 3:27 PM (a black man was suspiciously fumbling with keys on top of grass almost an entire quarter inch too long)

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@itscorrena Often by people who will then start crying or swearing at "real" attorneys for not working their case for <$1000 even after they've made it perfectly clear that they're Mommy's Special Boy

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@ConnorLibutti It's not the most memorable application I've ever reviewed, but a solid top 5 contender was for a legal assistant position. The applicant was extremely pretty and I know this because she included a full-body 8 1/2 x 11 photo with her resume.

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

A lot of cops and prosecutors don't want you to know this but you actually automatically get all charges dismissed if this is how you exit the courtroom at your first hearing.

[Dubzy @DubzyOnceAgain]

Guys will see this and just think “hell yeah”

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@BarExamTutor I remember once in law school a legal recruiter sent me an email basically saying that listing the salary is bad because there will be lots of competition for high-paying jobs, so why don't I just tell them my salary expectations and pay to access their *exclusive* job postings?

[Corn ✧⍣ @cornski]

“MY BITCH HERE THROW ME THE FUCKING BALL NIGGA”

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

Why is ice spice being a ho with the cartoon citrus #SuperBowlLVIII

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

This the shit Mario was saving Isle Delfino with

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

I'd ask who has that one pic but it's me

[Elon Musk @elonmusk]

Yup

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@love2gopee Oof

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@bornposting "Itchy and Scratchy is a show for kids"

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@RileeDHarrison I really wanted to go into personal injury for the earning potential but a few negotiation classes in law school taught me faster and for cheaper that I simply do not have the capacity for this bullshit 😌

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@notkavi Just imagining Hank Hill going "well it's Texas so all our ports are pretty warm, especially in the summer"

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@TheFigen_ Beautiful home. Too bad it doesn't have a driveway (I'm assuming) so that mans can pull out at least once in his life.

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@Slatzism Not my American ass coming to the UK to hunt this guy down with an unloicensed butter knife

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@Aldron_ @matt__enloe When you're a little slower than otherwise since you flew in overnight on a red-eye, so...

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@chaosagent22 Clippy would never have let this happen

[Forbidden Wario, Attorney at Law @TexRex1996]

@insultsrare I'm choosing myself and learning how to be happy single for a while